Name changed for this as cba to change all the details I am going to give.
Hi everyone, please be kind. I'm having a proper tumultuous time; my mind is full of things I should do and I don't know what to do first, or even if I should be doing completely different things. I would REALLY welcome advice!
I have been married over 40 years. I have 4 grown-up (ish) children, 2 of whom live at home. Some years ago, I said that I wanted to split up and we have been living together, but not sharing the same bed or having sex, since then.
I very much want to continue to be civilised, and so far we seem to have managed this. I absolutely expect that both of us will probably move on and start new relationships in the future, but this was on the understanding that we would discuss any changes to the existing plan for the house. We had agreed that once the 2 youngest were slightly older, I would move out and rent a flat, until they were old enough to live independently and then the house would be sold. We agreed that we would like to try and split things ourselves, once that happened.
Four weeks ago I found that my husband was online dating 2 much younger women from abroad. He said that he was going to live with one of them in the UK.
This obviously meant plans would need to change. About 2 weeks later, I found out that he had spent more than £10,000 on the dating agency. He has not spoken to the women, other than messaging via the website. I strongly believe that he is being scammed. He does not, and refuses to stop speaking to them. He has no idea how much he has spent in the last 3 weeks. He will not find out.
Any advice on what I can do? I care deeply about him and should have added that he had some serious illnesses a few years ago. I wonder if he may have dementia. I have put the thread in 'addiction' because he seems to be completely addicted to messaging these women.
Thanks for your help!