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Kids dad has relapsed on cocaine again

11 replies

Anom88 · 16/05/2026 21:18

Father of my 2 young kids and stepdad to my teen has relapsed on cocaine again.
I left the family home 1.5 years ago with my kids and was put into temporary accommodation and now thankfully have a long term stable home. He was dealing drugs and I found drugs laying around the house numerous times. After years of lies and relapses I left for the kids safety and for my sanity.
Fast forward to now he had been doing so well. I started allowing unsupervised contact and we even went on holiday as a family. He was clean 1 year. I was so proud and considering giving our relationship another go.
I went to collect my kids from his one morning last week. Him and the kids were asleep on the couch.. they were in pjs, nappies full of pee and the house was a mess. I walked through to the kitchen and found a plate with lines of cocaine on the top shelf. I also seen powder residue on his dining table.
I’m absolutely heartbroken, angry, all the emotions! It turns out he’s been using for months… I removed the kids and told him they will not be back to his house and all contact will be supervised until he sorts his shit out. I recently started a new job and relied on hi. Helping with pick ups and the odd nightshift. I had a meeting with my boss yesterday and thankfully they have managed to change my role and hours so I can do all drop off and pick ups from nursery.
I don’t know why I’m posting I think I just need to vent. I made a post on here over a year ago and had a lot of people telling me to leave.. well I did and now he has put my kids in danger again.. I don’t think I can ever go back now.. thanks for reading

OP posts:
bilbohaggins · 16/05/2026 22:00

I’m really sorry OP. Well done for putting your kids first. I guess on the upside, at least you know that he will likely always be an addict and you don’t have to feel guilt about leaving him or prioritising you and your kids. It’s sad, but sometimes it is easier to live without the hope that people will change. He has chosen drugs over your kids, so you know where you stand.

Holdonforsummer · 16/05/2026 22:02

Have you told social services?

Papersquidge · 16/05/2026 22:06

He’s an addict and should never be trusted with your children again.

Treetreetreetree · 16/05/2026 22:09

I’m so sorry. Addiction is a terrible thing. I hope you can get some support.

Anom88 · 16/05/2026 22:44

Thanks @bilbohaggins enough is enough now. I have lost so much love and respect for him. It’s heartbreaking but I need to think of my kids and I don’t want to police his behaviour for the rest of my life. I’m so so tired of it. @Holdonforsummer no I’ve not I’ve thought about it but I can keep them safe. My health visitor and the kids nursery are aware now. I fled the family home 1.5 year ago and had contact with woman’s aid etc. @Papersquidge i am still allowing limited supervised access at my home but it’s hard. I know he loves them and he would have been a fantastic dad if the drugs weren’t involved. He asks to see them everyday but I can’t cope with that. He has made his bed and needs to lie in it. I really hope that he can get clean for good for their sake and his. @Treetreetreetree thank you, I’m back in therapy and have some good friends. My work keeps me distracted too. I’m scared for the future but I know I can do it. I did it with my eldest on my own pretty much.

OP posts:
justintimeforxmas · 16/05/2026 23:10

Well done. You now know for sure you can’t trust him. Well done for putting your kids first and good luck with everything.

Holdonforsummer · 17/05/2026 02:43

Sorry but I would still tell social services. What if he pushes for more unsupervised contact time?

notatinydancer · 17/05/2026 05:32

Holdonforsummer · 17/05/2026 02:43

Sorry but I would still tell social services. What if he pushes for more unsupervised contact time?

She says no. SS don’t need to be involved, she’s on top of this.

Iocanepowder · 17/05/2026 05:50

Well done for leaving. He’s blown his chance now though. Even if he gets clean in the future, i would never ever let him be alone with your kids again.

rwalker · 17/05/2026 06:00

Sadly thats addiction for you
tbh you sound very switched up on about it all and taken the right steps

Holdonforsummer · 17/05/2026 08:07

notatinydancer · 17/05/2026 05:32

She says no. SS don’t need to be involved, she’s on top of this.

I’m not says she isn’t. I’m trying to ensure she and her children are protected in the future.

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