Am I always bad for the bag

[Userfridaynight]

I'm 33 years old, turning 34 this August. I hold down a successful job, have been single for 7 years, have a bunch of friends that keep my social life busy, but I can't dispute the fact that I love getting a bag. It doesn't impact my life, in that i still keep a job and family/friends, but every weekend i order. Even if im by myself, i order: I want to stress that it is not impacting my work or social duties... but i feel like a slob after taking it and lower my self value purely on the basis that i take it. Is this an issue or still recreational?

As someone with a son trying to come out the other side … here’s an almighty slap as requested
Stop now , get some help before this ruins your life
Find an alternative pastime than the usual social weekend that includes a bag
My son has wrecked his relationship
His career , his physical and mental heath
He’s damaged our relationship too and financially ruined me
All from an occasional weekend ( everyone does it mum)
Please stop , you deserve better .

This is how it starts. I wish you could meet my DB and then you'd get a glimpse into what your life will look like. Lost his job, son, girlfriend, home, family, next girlfriend (and DC) been to prison, tens of thousands of debt, lost me and my DC. Nose falling apart, psychosis, paranoia, his brain has literally gone to shit and he'll never be the same again. Living in a shitty flat three hours away with nothing but his next benefits payment to land so he can start the binge/broke cycle all over again. This is what your life will look like in five years time. Just stop.

I think you'll have to quit drinking, at least for a good while. It sounds like the alcohol and the coke go hand in hand and now your brain associates having a drink with having coke. You need to weigh up if the high is worth the come down.

If your getting a bag for yourself on your own then you have an addiction problem. Seek help.

You have a serious problem. I was once in your shoes and it got very bad, i nearly lost everything been ten years clean now through using online support meetings & stopping associating with anyone who used and never once looked back.

How did you get on over Friday and Saturday night?

I did too @NorthXNorthWest! I was worse though and thought it all the way through the OP until the last sentence…when I got confused!

Agree with PP about stopping drinking too (at least for a while). If you’re drinking, you’re much more likely to think ‘Fuck it, I’ll get a bag’.

It’s such a nasty drug. It messed with my MH and damaged some of my friendships, as well as wasting a fair bit of my money.

When I used to take it, I was young and pretty naïve about the human rights atrocities involved in moving cocaine around the world. I’m not naïve about that now, and I don’t think my conscience would allow me to take it now, knowing that people might have been abused/harmed/killed in the process of supplying my weekend party drug.

I would refer yourself to your local addiction services. We have one in my town, used to be called Addaction, now called Change Grow Live.

Good luck OP.

Have you looked into cocaine anonymous? There are online meetings every day you can hide with your camera off and listen to see if you hear your story in what the people there share. They can help !! If you want it. Nobody will force you but if you want the help it's there and it's free. Recovery changed my whole life, it's 13 years and I've never looked back. Only you can decide what's bad enough but for my experience... People who don't have a problem don't spend time after time wondering/ worrying if they have a problem !
This was the message that finally got through to me
Good luck OP! You deserve to be happy 💖