I don’t even know why I’m writing this but I really need some advice. I have an 8 month old baby boy and became a single mother, 2 months ago, after finding out my partner was a secret drug addict and alcoholic. I had my suspicions early post partum after seeing messages on his phone (the messages never stated drugs but they were dodgy) and finding empty baggies in our house. They were in his coat pockets, work bags, his car, hidden in sunglasses cases ect. I had quite severe post partum depression and was made to think that I was hallucinating and/or making things up in my head. I thought I was going insane, even whilst the evidence was in my hand, he manipulated me into believing that he was telling the truth and that I was ill. I went into labour because I found a coke bag on the sofa that he swore was not his. He would tell me that they were his work friends and that he was getting rid of them for them, which I know now literally sounds ridiculous. I found 2 full bags of cocaine hidden in his car, which he swore were not his. He had sworn on our sons life multiple times that he was not using or selling cocaine, and I later found that this was a lie and that he was also using ketamine, cannabis and abusing alcohol too. He threw the empty bottles over the back fence on our garden and hid the ones he was drinking in our garden. I couldn’t believe that someone could be so disgusting and lie, whilst swearing on their babies life. I went on his phone one morning, whilst he was sleeping and found multiple messages of him asking for dealers numbers, i also found explicit AI photos that he had made which were disgusting. I woke him up and told him I knew everything and that he needed to tell me what drugs he was taking and that I found the photos. He then told me he has been taking ket and cocaine and weed, painkillers, sinking bottles of Jack Daniel’s, and that this has been on and off since I was pregnant. He then threatened to kill himself, I locked him in the house and rang his mum to come and help and he climbed out of a window and ran off saying he was going to kill himself. I couldn’t go after him because of our baby so I rang the police and they found him, completely fine and he told them that we were having a row and he just wanted to go to the shop and get some fags. The policeman was horrendous and made me feel so small and uncomfortable and didn’t help one bit, even thanked Kian for being cooperative and that his coffee would probably still be hot when he got back. After this I kicked him out of our house (rented) and ended the relationship there and then. I ended up moving back into my mums with my baby because I couldn’t afford to live in that house with just my earnings, especially not on maternity pay. The house also didn’t feel like a home due to everything that happened. I will also add that in the 5 months of my maternity leave, my grandma passed away and I had also an abortion, all of his mixed in with my post partum depression and relationship breakdown was hell, but I carried on and made sure my baby was happy, healthy and safe. I was drug testing my ex, everytime he came to see our boy, but after a little while it got expensive and he was passing them so I thought everything was okay and that he was sober. Little to my knowledge, when the drug tests stopped, he started using again. I found this out yesterday. My boy was supposed to stay at his Grandmothers (where babies father is also living) to give me a break as I have been solo parenting since the split and was exhausted and needed a night off. My boys grandmother has been amazing in helping me and was keeping her sons wages to make sure he wasn’t buying drugs, but found out yesterday he just borrowed money off people and made a tab with his dealer so he didn’t need his money and would pay his debt off when he got paid and then sent his mum his ‘wages’. I told babies grandmother that I would be drug testing her son to ensure that my baby is safe as I had a weird feeling and that I needed to do it for my peace of mind and my boys safety. Baby’s father also hadn’t sent the money he usually sends, which was apparently because he had £500 taken out from a bill at the old house, but it was because he has spent our babies payment on cocaine. I never wanted money after everything he has put us through, but if it meant my boy got things he needed without me struggling, I accepted it. It was put straight into our babies account until he needed things. I waited until babies father got back from work and he walked straight into the kitchen to get some food. I waited around half an hour to ask him to do the test as I didn’t want to make a big deal or cause a scene. When I asked him to do the drug test he laughed in my face and said I was ridiculous. I said I want to make sure you’re sober before I leave our son for the night, he said that I should have done it as soon as he walked in because I’d already let him hold and fuss our boy and that I wasn’t keeping him that safe if I thought he was on drugs. He refused to do the test and then told me it would come back positive for cocaine, and that he was using again because he wanted to die. I told him he will not be part of our babies life, if he didn’t sort himself out. Even when he was sober, I never allowed him to be alone with our baby, I never left him alone with him before I knew about the drugs either because he wasn’t great at settling him and he didn’t seem to know what he was doing at all, even after 5 months. He used to sleep all the time when he got in from work and hide in his gaming room all night and never come to bed. He didn’t help me with our baby, he made the bottles and took the bin out and that was about as much help as I got. So I am grateful really that he never helped and that I didn’t leave my boy with him, because I know that I’ve never put him in an unsafe situation. I’m just asking now which route I go down with social services. I have put some boundaries in place in regards to contact. I’m just worried that when my baby starts the childminders, because he has parental responsibility, she cannot legally stop him from picking him up. Do I need to get full custody. Any advice please help.