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Awful Boxing Day row

15 replies

Orangesandlemons77 · 28/12/2025 20:58

I have been worried about DH and his drinking over Christmas as being off work just seems to mean he can start earlier in the day.

Christmas Day wasn't too bad, maybe the big meal helped somewhat but Boxing Day was not good.

In the evening he started on a drunken rant about the internet and how it was the cause of all problems, it had ruined our lives etc. DS said something like not this again, we have this every Christmas. DH then started ranting at him, saying that when he pays his way (DS is a student) he had the right to talk to him like that.

I, stupidly, said I thought the drinking might be more of a problem? and got told I take drugs (I'm on some prescription meds for a health condition) and he 'might as well drink himself to death'

MIL was there and started crying, DS said look you've made your mum cry now, DH stormed off with his bottle.

Later, I told MIL I would sleep on the sofa in the lounge with her but she told me no, if I did that she would go, I needed to go sleep with my husband. I tried that and got shouted at and came back into the lounge in tears.

She then went on to tell me that I was to stop crying, I just didn't want to hear the truth (about the internet) and she had no sympathy for me.

I said instead of talking to me like that she should go and talk to her alcoholic son, to which she replied that I'm not putting the blame on her.

What a nightmare. She then started saying she was going to leave, and I said Ok, go then, and she told me that she would text him (DH) in the morning and tell him I had said that.

There was some other stuff said as well, she commented on my 'lying in bed all day' (I have an illness and was worse after the stress of Christmas) and I mentioned this and she said 'so you say' about the illness, I said it had been diagnosed, by doctors and it wasn't nice not to be believed.

It ended up with me saying something like 'not everything is all about you' (because she tends to turn everything back to how she is feeling / going to do) and she screamed at me, that is a horrible thing to say..

Is this like a kind of denial or something? Any perspectives helpful. Thanks

OP posts:
Pepperedpickles · 28/12/2025 21:12

Well she sounds as awful as her son. Get rid of the pair of them. Seriously. They’re total head fucks.

CharlotteByrde · 28/12/2025 21:16

OP, you'll find plenty of support on here: Support group for those affected by someone else's drinking - thread 3

ADHDdiagnosis · 28/12/2025 21:18

It’s the drink. Alcoholism will destroy families.

he needs to stop drinking which is a very hard thing to do.

that’s the crux of this.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/12/2025 21:22

Poor kids.

Why do you put up with this?

Ponderingwindow · 28/12/2025 21:22

You are focusing on your MIL because it is easier than focusing on the real problem.

You can’t stay with an alcoholic. You and your children deserve better.

MarxistMags · 28/12/2025 21:29

Who said he was an alcoholic ?

PrincessofWells · 28/12/2025 21:31

MarxistMags · 28/12/2025 21:29

Who said he was an alcoholic ?

Well it's been posted in the Addiction section - does that answer you . . .

Orangesandlemons77 · 28/12/2025 21:31

CharlotteByrde · 28/12/2025 21:16

OP, you'll find plenty of support on here: Support group for those affected by someone else's drinking - thread 3

Sorry, I will post there. I said he was an alcoholic.

OP posts:
Suburbanqueen · 28/12/2025 21:36

At best he is a problem drinker and sounds like his mother is chief enabler. I lived with a secretive 'problem drinker' for far too many years. We've divorced now and I have no idea if he's still drinking but it has left me with depression and anxiety. Don't be me.......get out while you're still relatively young. Your illness may well be worsened by the stress of living with this. Xxx

Orangesandlemons77 · 28/12/2025 21:39

He drinks daily at least a bottle of wine, I think that is a dependency at least

OP posts:
Suburbanqueen · 28/12/2025 21:48

I agree. Xx

Sneesellsseashells · 28/12/2025 21:51

They both sound awful get rid of him and get rid of her as a bonus.

Orangesandlemons77 · 28/12/2025 21:51

It is stressful, I agree. Like a rollercoaster. I also have anxiety and depression

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 28/12/2025 22:09

Not his mums fault, you got angry with her rather than him!
Get rid of him, you are allowing him to ruin your children’s lives.

rainbowunicorn22 · 21/01/2026 18:02

I think that you and your DS plus your health would be a lot better off without him and her. send him back to her they can make each other miserable

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