I'm getting terribly ill with alcohol

[TheQuirkyMaker]

I live in Dorset and hoping there is SMART support nearby. I'm keeping my head above water financially and socially, but drinking a half bottle of vodka each morning and another half at night, doing it for decades. My family don't know for certain but kind of suspect. My GP has booked in all sorts of tests as my liver is failing. I've posted recently about my little dog who is getting older and relies on me. I want to quit but am afraid of sobriety.

Why are you afraid of it ??

I SMART like AA?
hope you get the help you need OP …good luck

Ah, bless you…

I’m sorry you’re struggling. I guess I’d ask myself what I was more afraid of - sobriety, or my dog being left alone without me? Sobriety, or an avoidable early death?

There are so many resources out there that can help you. I really hope you reach out to them. Your doggy needs you. Your family needs you. You deserve a wonderful sober life.

Much love and luck to you x

Presumably because she has been drinking for so long that it feels safe and familiar, which is entirely understandable. OP, you have done a very brave thing by asking for support here. I have been where you are, with the only difference being that I didn't drink in the morning. I'm not saying that because I think that makes me better than you: it doesn't at all. If anything, it just helped me to kid myself that I didn't have a problem when I very much did. I can recommend a very lovely and helpful online group called Soberistas. There is no judgement there at all, only kindness and support.

It is reality. As opposed to the faux fun and frivolity some of us used to experience at teenage parties. All the things we pushed aside: the rejections we received, the spite we did to others, the mean little things we did, bullying people, cajoling them into doing things they probably didn't want to do. It all comes back when we are not whooping it up. And I dread the dawn.

Hope you are ok. Soberistas is a good one to join