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Addiction support

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Original poster

Do I deserve it?

4 replies

Lozzie89 · 22/08/2025 19:45

I’m getting to the point in my journey with my alcoholic partner where I’m starting to believe I deserve it. The constant abuse, the gaslighting and then the love-bombing. My head is like a minefield and I feel completely broken. I’ve experienced physical DV before but this feels so much worse.
I know I should leave but I know I don’t have the strength to do it.

OP posts:

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 22/08/2025 20:03

@Lozzie89 , contact Al-Anon. Good luck and of course you don’t deserve this. X
https://al-anon.org

Al-Anon Family Groups

Who Are Al-Anon Members? Al-Anon members are people, just like you, who are worried about someone with a drinking problem. Family members have the opportunity to learn from the experiences of others who have faced similar problems. Read More Teens come...

https://al-anon.org

Devilsmommy · 22/08/2025 20:07

I've always said that emotional abuse is way worse than physical abuse. Do you want to leave or work things out? Only ask because until he quits drinking then it's not going to get better, if anything it will just get worse. So sorry you're going through this. I was in a violent relationship with an alcoholic and honestly the best thing I ever did was leave. Sending you unmumsnetty hugs 🤗

Peaceandlabradors · 22/08/2025 20:15

No one deserves abuse. Repeat that write it down. Then write:

I am worthy. I deserve to feel safe. I deserve to be safe.

repeat it over and over.

You know you have to leave and go no contact. You know it is not your fault. You know you can’t cure them, you can’t be their punch bag and you can’t fix them.

You can only fix yourself. You can only do that by leaving, going totally no contact, getting support for yourself and staying away for good. The good thing about being broken, if there is one, is you develop skills no one else has, like a bit of broken crockery, you can be mended and like the Japanese do - you can go over the cracks with gold and you take your broken you and make it back into the pot or cup it was meant to be and you will be stronger, more beautiful for ever and above all treasured by someone who really cares properly for you, that person right now needs to be you.

You need support, money, somewhere to go, a new number, a new address - all safe and plenty of support but you will rise like a phoenix from the ashes. X

Kit006 · 10/10/2025 16:51

My wife is drunk every day and every night. I take her on holiday stupidly expecting a change - doh. I am 70 and have lived with this for 20 years. Too late to escape.

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