my boyfriend watches porn. i don’t know how to feel about it

[ForAdeptEagle]

I found something on my partners phone, he is 21 and i am 20. I found a twitter account where he was following 79 OnlyFans girls. He had also been watching all their sex videos and tapes. He admitted to me that he thinks he has an addiction, but has promised me that he only watched them for fun. He says he watches them like i would watch a tiktok. He said he’s never masturbated or gets aroused by these videos. I really don’t know how to feel about that. How can you watch beautiful people doing things like that and just not get aroused. He admitted he thinks he had an addiction - this has only been going on for 3 months. And he knew he needed help within the first 3 weeks, he was just too embarrassed to say anything. The thing that confuses me the most about it is that it actually sounds true - usually he will delete his browser history and only search on private - but how i found out is because the last 2 weeks have been there. I looked at his screen time and it’s only around 10 mins per week of him watching these videos.
Any help would be appreciated

Ha well he's lying to you, of course he gets aroused and wanks, that's the whole point. He just thinks you don't want to hear that, so he's lying about it like you're an idiot. I wouldn't have a big problem with some porn (although his use sounds excessive) but the lying would be a hard no for me and a relationship ender.

Liar liar

lol he’s obviously lying about not masturbating to it, it’s such a bad lie it doesn’t even deserve entertaining.

I personally don’t really mind porn watching, as long as it’s not particularly sketchy (although the industry is sketchy as a whole) and there’s no interaction. OF would be an issue for me.

The fact is lying about getting aroused or walking to this is a glaring sign he's addicted and a compulsive liar on the subject, sorry

I think you are both young and he’s probably embarrassed you found it.

My personal view is that porn isn’t a significant issue. He doesn’t know these women, okay he may be masturbating to them, so what, the reality is most people masturbate.

it really doesn’t mean anything about you or the relationship.

Not getting aroused would worry me. It could mean he starts seeking more and more extreme content. More violent, younger and younger girls. I wouldn’t be with anyone who watches porn, but this sounds like he’s asking for help. Which you absolutely don’t need to be giving him

I would be more concerned if my partner was watching porn and NOT getting aroused? Surely that would indicate some sort of impotent issue? Or that his addiction is that severe he doesn't even get excited anymore and watches it like an episode of eastenders.

1. He is wanking.
2. Watching a bit of porn isn't that bad.
3. He is only 21YO, you can't control whether he watches porn or not, it's his body, his phone.
4. If its truly an addiction, cold turkey zero porn is the only way forward.

He’s lying. Men don’t watch porn for entertainment value. From someone who tolerated this from a young age and wishes I’d got out early, put him in the bin now and move on.

Hey! So i’ve asked him 100 honest questions to really try and understand what his mind is going through.
We have been together since we were both 14, it’s a lot of my life to throw away over something so stupid.
I don’t mind the porn watching - it’s the hiding and the excessiveness. He’s told me he’s never wanked over it because we live at our mums and it’s awkward. So i feel like his mind conditioned him to not wank, which means he can’t get aroused to it. He said after a while it just became a habit to him when using the toilet to open twitter instead of tiktok.
He never lied to me once i found it and told me everything. I wish he would have just told me, i think subconsciously he did want to tell me hence the reason he wasnt searching on private browsing like usual.
I have checked all his history, on both his PC and his phone, nothing is out of the ordinary - it’s just basic doggystyle porn. Trust me, if it was worse and more violent porn i would not be posting here for advice.
I do want to continue our relationship, i’m just finding it hard knowing how to get over something like that.

Sorry, but he’s still lying.
And I understand being together from 14-20 is a big deal in your world, so you are probably going to hang on to him.
But his brain is getting seriously messed up
with this stuff.
At some point, the algorithm will send him more violent stuff. And his brain will want something new.
Yes, he can keep it separate from you in his mind and yes, he’s just 21 but unless he gets help for this, it’s not going to get better.
He has an addiction and addicts are liars, even the lovely ones we love.

So do yous not have an intimate relationship if yous live with parents? If he finds it awkward having a wank in the house surely he finds it awkward having sex? Men can and will masturbate anywhere! The shower, on the toilet, in the car. He's still lying.

We have been together since we were both 14. It’s a lot of my life to throw away over something so stupid

Not really. And it isn't stupid, is it?
He's lying to you and being disrespectful both to you and to the women who are being exploited.

I'd end it @ForAdeptEagle because your boyfriend is a liar.