I’m so done!

[Pb69]

26yr old son back living with us. He’s in a long distance relationship with a Muslim girl. She is very welcome in our home but he has to remain invisible to her family. He ‘soothes’ himself with alcohol and cocaine which has escalated in recent months to the point his last pay check of £2000 went to his dealer …he has also missed work several times just sleeping for hours and not contacting them. Every time I try to talk to him he gets angry and potentially violent. please if anyone has gone through this give me some tips!
I love him, but right now I don’t like him

He's using the relationship as an excuse to fuel his addiction @Pb69. I am so sorry, it's sounds scary for you and you must be so worried about what is going to happen to him .
I think the best way forward for you is to get some professional help and support for yourself because he obviously isn't going to stop , no matter what you do or say.
In the UK there is help for you .
FRANK (0300 123 6600) for drug advice.

Adfam (adfam.org.uk) support for families.

Families Anonymous (famanon.org.uk) peer support for families affected by drugs.

Wishing you all the best ,good luck 🤞 🙏

Agree with @MaryGreenhill. I belong to Famanon and regularly attend meetings.

They practice the 12 steps and the first one is about powerlessness and acceptance.

You cannot control his behaviour (trust me) only your own response to it.

Get yourself some support, life saver.

I also go to families anonymous
I had to learn to stop enabling my son, otherwise I was keeping him sick, as he would use the money on his addictions. Practice tough love, they need to feel the consequences of their poor choices.
The Three C’s
You didn’t CAUSE it
You can’t CONTROL it
You can’t CURE it