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Grown up children

9 replies

AngelaBB · 10/05/2025 20:18

My daughter,42, has a drink problem and I don’t know how to help her. Her behaviour is truly shocking and yesterday she was arrested and has been charged with assaulting a police officer, she will almost certainly lose her job over this drunken performance. I try very hard to be supportive but I feel that this does more harm than good, I actually feel like slapping her. She is happily married and enjoys her job, she has a good life, no children through choice, but holidays extensively. We’ve tried therapy, AA meetings,support groups but nothing seems to make any difference. She has taken two overdoses in the last month and I am so frightened she is going to accidentally kill herself. I’m at a complete loss.

OP posts:
IberianBlackout · 10/05/2025 20:53

Is she open to going to rehab? Like inpatient, not a short stint.

AngelaBB · 10/05/2025 21:06

It’s out of our reach, financially. It’s very hard getting any help.

OP posts:
Dreichweather · 10/05/2025 21:08

Have you triec al anon for yourself?

AngelaBB · 10/05/2025 22:00

For me? No I’ve never thought of that. That’s an idea, thank you. I just worry that the more I do the worse it seems to get.

OP posts:
IberianBlackout · 10/05/2025 23:06

@AngelaBB Teen Challenge UK. It’s not easy (especially if you’re not religious), but it does work for some people provided you’re strong enough mentally to navigate it. Unless it’s under a different name I’m pretty sure they have a female wing.
She would need to have a GP recommendation and a certain level of sobriety before going, if nothing has changed in the last couple years.

I also agree with PP that you need to look into support for yourself. If being the partner of an addict is hard, I can’t imagine the pain of being a parent. Please look after yourself.

healthybychristmas · 11/05/2025 07:19

But her daughter is aged 42. Teen challenge isn't the right thing for her. I agree with the posters who recommended AlAnon. It must be a horrible worry for you. What does her partner say?

AngelaBB · 12/05/2025 12:14

Her partner is very supportive but exhausted and not sure which way to go.

OP posts:
SingtotheCat · 12/05/2025 13:45

I just wanted to offer solidarity, OP.
We just had our 22 year old removed after he called police on us today.
He Does drugs and is violent and aggressive towards us. He will also be charged with assault police after they were called when he assaulted us last week.
We’ve done everything we can and have supported for years. We’ve are at the end of the road now, he is an adult and we must protect our 15 year old.
Let her get on with it. This is beyond your control.
You are not alone.

IberianBlackout · 12/05/2025 17:28

healthybychristmas · 11/05/2025 07:19

But her daughter is aged 42. Teen challenge isn't the right thing for her. I agree with the posters who recommended AlAnon. It must be a horrible worry for you. What does her partner say?

The name is deceptive - they take people of all ages, 60 being the oldest I’ve met.

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