Long term Effects of Drug Use

[NellyAmelia]

Hello everyone
I have posted before in another forum about the morals and how I should react to finding out my husband has a secret drug habit but I’d also like to know what the health side effects and changes to his personality this habit would have lead to. In a nutshell he’s been taking MDMA, coke, weed and alcohol at festivals and nights out every 6 weeks or so for over 30 years, he is also taking Venlafaxine and Pregabalin for his mental health plus statins for around 10 years.

He’s telling me he will stop but I feel he must be addicted and I am worried if he is really you going to stop now I’ve found out, he may have withdrawal symptoms or would have done permanent damage. In all honesty I doubt he CAN stop and Ive been with him for 23 years so I’ve unwittingly never known him not taking drugs but I feel I should give him a chance to come right.

thank you

The biggest question here is: does it affect his life? Your life? Finances, work, mood, etc?

Sorry I missed your reply. Yes I feel it has effected his personality over the years and I think his mental health would have been better if he didn’t have a drug habit even though it’s every few weeks but he disagrees. It’s at the crux of whether we go our separate ways, if he genuinely believes it’s doing him no harm, I don’t think I can live with someone so deluded.

@NellyAmelia if he’s in denial and doesn’t think he has a problem it will be impossible to convince him otherwise. Addicts in denial are absolutely blind to how it changes them.

Yes I think you’re spot on. He says things like (with reference to him and his festival mates) ‘we don’t think it’s harming me’ or ‘we just have different opinions on recreational drug taking’ ‘you don’t like that sort of thing anyway’ and yet they all seem to be hiding it from their families. It’s very sad but as it pre-dates our marriage of 20+ years - it’s not like we can go back to how it used to be before the drugs, because they’ve always been there.

Yeah, my husband is addicted to cannabis and coke and will take anything else offered to him. He’s always been a narcissist but the drugs make it all worse. He’s nearing 60 now and still does coke twice a week. His health is excellent considering the battering from drugs, alcohol and cigarettes it’s had over the past 45 years, but he has good genes - both parents lived to 100 and his father smoked. His moods are awful and I find him impossible to live with. But I’ve made the decision not to get divorced until the kids are old enough to look after themselves because there’s no way I’d trust him with them alone overnight. I can’t control his addiction, he refuses to admit a problem because apparently it’s all my fault. So I’m suffering in relative silence while protecting our children from it by laying down specific ground rules which he amazingly sticks to.

Hi, yes I think I’ve found myself in the same position he’s sticking to the ground rules I’m setting and he’s promised that this festival in August is his last one he’ll use them then he’ll stop. H a been on a night out recently and I tested him afterwards and he was clear so I’ll just keep testing him.

Having said all that the thought of policing his behaviour for the rest of our lives doesn’t feel good. I guess I’ll have to see how it goes.

He needs to come clean with a medical professional, and get help to stop safely. Of the drugs you’ve listed the ones that jump out at me as being the most worrying in withdrawal-type way are alcohol (stopping suddenly can cause fits) and pregabalin - this is such a powerful drug and I’ve seen a lot of people fall apart emotionally if they don’t stop with advice to taper slowly. I presume venlafaxine is prescription - that’s an antidepressant with no recreational value so I’m guessing that is legitimate and from the doctor…?

Yes all his meds are prescribed, it’s still not working - we’ve been to a couple counsellor he’s promised to stop all the illegal ones but the trust is gone.