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Addiction support

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Original poster

Sons dads on drugs our baby has heart condition

16 replies

Soph202230 · 27/04/2025 00:30

Hey guys ,

so today I finally reached out for help, my son who is 6 weeks old dad takes drugs and he promised for. Months he would stop once our son was born. Our son has been here 6 weeks and he still hasn’t stopped.

ive asked him to do multiple drug tests to show me and his family what drugs he is on, he’s always saying “give me a couple of days and I’ll do one”.

our son has TOF heart condition and was rushed into Homerton last week , this weekend we got rushed to gosh coz baby needs surgery earlier than expected.

me and dad haven’t been together since we left Homerton 6 weeks ago after C-section due to him taking drugs at the hospital before I went into operation.

today I woke up to abusive messages as I told him if if I don’t get a drug test don’t come to the hospital . I was called a slag dog and a bitch multiple times.

i have now informed great ormand street they have barred him from the hospital.

does anyone know what happens from here I’ve protected me and my son by telling them, did I do the right thing will they take baby from me me ?

also, can I go to council with out getting the police involved & show them my voice notes from him?

thank you in advance.

OP posts:

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 27/04/2025 00:35

You definitely did the right thing, the man is an arsehole who is more interested in whatever crap he takes than you or the baby, and neither of you need that.

No one will take your baby from you unless it’s in danger which it isn’t because you’ve got shot of him.

Go to the council about housing you mean? I don’t see why they would need to inform the police - but what’s your worry if they do?

Bingbopboomboomboombopbam · 27/04/2025 00:36

You absolutely did the right thing and no one will take the baby from you over that.

The reason he’s avoiding the drug test is because he’s using and buying time/in denial. As it stands he’s not safe to be around the baby.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 27/04/2025 00:40

You did the thing that social workers would want to see - you actively protected your baby.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 27/04/2025 00:41

Hit send too soon.

What do you want to go to the council about exactly?

nocoolnamesleft · 27/04/2025 02:09

If involved, social services would see that you have acted to protect your baby.

NaiceBalonz · 27/04/2025 02:52

Social services should have been involved from the get-go by the sounds of it..

Original poster

Soph202230 · 27/04/2025 17:12

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 27/04/2025 00:35

You definitely did the right thing, the man is an arsehole who is more interested in whatever crap he takes than you or the baby, and neither of you need that.

No one will take your baby from you unless it’s in danger which it isn’t because you’ve got shot of him.

Go to the council about housing you mean? I don’t see why they would need to inform the police - but what’s your worry if they do?

I have disabilities and he’s made me feel scared to go back to my home when my son comes out of hospital . Want to go council to inform them what’s going on. But not sure if they’ll do anything if police haven’t been informed.

OP posts:

LIZS · 27/04/2025 19:18

Council aren’t the right people to be involved. Police if he is threatening. Is he on the birth certificate?

Original poster

Soph202230 · 28/04/2025 00:43

nocoolnamesleft · 27/04/2025 02:09

If involved, social services would see that you have acted to protect your baby.

Thank you x

OP posts:

Original poster

Soph202230 · 28/04/2025 00:43

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 27/04/2025 00:35

You definitely did the right thing, the man is an arsehole who is more interested in whatever crap he takes than you or the baby, and neither of you need that.

No one will take your baby from you unless it’s in danger which it isn’t because you’ve got shot of him.

Go to the council about housing you mean? I don’t see why they would need to inform the police - but what’s your worry if they do?

Thank you xx

OP posts:

Lavender14 · 28/04/2025 00:49

If you're separated from him and you stay that way then social services will see it as a protective factor that you've asked for help and taken steps to protect your child. There is support they can offer him and they may find it easier to hold him to account by way of testing than you can. I would contact the police to be honest op if he's made you feel unsafe and scared to go home that's abusive and it's important that's logged in order to protect yourself and your wee baby. I'd also reach out to womens aid for support as well. He's showing you his true colours here and there is unfortunately a possibility that this could escalate and you deserve all the help and support you can get. It's a vulnerable time after you've had a baby, never mind when baby has health conditions that are worrying for you. You'll still be full of hormones and exhausted and having others around who can help manage him will serve you well.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 28/04/2025 07:25

There will be a hospital Social Worker at GOSH. You can ask to speak to them about your ex and housing.

BottleBlondeMachiavelli · 28/04/2025 07:26

Whatever you do, though, do NOT go back to where he is living, and don’t let him see the baby. You need to get yourself set up in your own place, even if it’s a bumpy road. Will your family put you for a while?

DaisyChain505 · 28/04/2025 08:13

I would be asking the hospital for guidance. But speaking to the police, the council and social services will show that you are putting your baby first and hopefully they can all help you navigate this situation.

BunnyRuddington · 03/05/2025 11:58

How are you and your DS now @Soph202230?

Isxmasoveryet · 02/07/2025 22:11

By not getting police involved the concern could be you go straight back to him once child is deemed ok social services are there to protect a child when the parents won't u need to get police involved and steer clear for good and not be weak and give in every time he buys you flowers or says sorry

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