Neighbour gives my alcoholic dad alcohol to control him

[BrightNewt]

My dad is elderly and recently widowed. He’s long done some skilled work for a neighbour for extra money as he’s low income. The neighbour gets this work very cheap and makes the most of it, my dad is an alcoholic with poor life skills so it’s quite exploitative. Since my mum died his income has dropped and the neighbour is pushier. He gives him alcohol. This feels abusive to me and I want to confront him. I’m still financially supporting my dad so it feels like I’m just giving money to his neighbour while he takes the piss. What should I do?

Does your Dad recognise that he has a problem with alcohol, or would he say he just likes a drink? If he doesn't accept he has a problem it will be very difficult.

Does he think he should be paid by the neighbour, or does he see himself as helping a neighbour out, rather than doing skilled work? Maybe he doesn't want to take any money from his neighbour, and the neighbour buys him a bottle as a thank you, or your Dad could tell him just to get him a bottle as he won't take any money from him.

If you think your Dad is asking for drinks in return for helping his neighbour, then you could mention it to the neighbour, perhaps as part of a general conversation about your Dad eg tell him you're worried about how your Dad is getting on, you know he has good neighbours, but you worry that he might be drinking a bit much.

Could your dad benefit from support from a social worker?

How is the situation now @BrightNewt?