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Tapering Off

6 replies

Cutthegrapes · 24/11/2024 16:26

My 37 year old brother is chronic alcoholic, consuming around 3 bottles of wine per day. My siblings and my parents have been trying to help him control his alcoholism for some time now, finally getting him into rehab in February of this year.

Although he begged us to get him into rehab, he left thinking that he'd had a (I quote) 'hard reset' and that he could drink in moderation. He was told categorically by his family and his rehab team that this was, neither true nor possible, but he's always been one to try everything the hard way and now we're 9 months on and he's as bad, if not worse, than he was prior to rehab.

He has always insisted that rather than rehab, or home detox, or any other intervention, he should be able to 'taper off'. In other words, if he's drinking 100 mls per hour, then after a few days that would become 90, until eventually he's at zero and kicked the habit. For the benefit of anyone reading, he's tried this at least 20 times over the last 3 years and failed spectacularly on each and every occasion - but each new try is 'the one'.

We've been through the cycle enough times to know that he cannot manage this on his own. He's about to embark on the same thing again, but this time with the support of my parents, who will 'manage' him to some extent.

My view is that this approach will fail. Although it makes logical sense to gradually decrease, I don't think it works in practice. I'm struggling to find anywhere on the internet any evidence of anyone making this work, especially when you're at a starting point of 100mls per hour, and gagging for the next 100 mls before the hour is up. Has anyone had a similar experience? Has anyone managed to make this work, or discovered any resources which would help?

OP posts:
Littlemissgobby · 24/11/2024 16:39

He's in denial he's an addict he's gonna make every excuse as to why he should drink even a little bit. Your family is empowering his addiction. If he goes to rehab he needs to realise that the definition jf stupid is to do the same things and want a diff result.
He needs to go to A A out of rehab he can't think he can go back to how he was. However he really needs to want to get off the booze as out kf rehab he was clean but went back on it. He needs lots of therapy but also should see a doc as they can talk medically about medicine to help him not drink

Littlemissgobby · 24/11/2024 16:41

He needs to be honest with himself if he doesn't wanna change and continue to drink then he should do that on his own as the family shpukd know that . If he wants to change then no he can't drink

Cutthegrapes · 24/11/2024 16:48

Yes, completely agree with all that. He is in denial and nothing is going to work until he wants to stop.

However, what I'm hoping for specifically is any information in relation to the concept of tapering off. I appreciate that it's totally conditional on the person wanting to stop and committing to an alcohol free life afterwards, but has anyone actually ever seen this technique work? Can anyone point me at a resource which shows someone pulling this off?

By the fact that I can't find any evidence out there, I'm guessing that this won't work. However, in order to educate myself and have a sensible discussion with my family (to stop the empowerment) I want to find out more about it.

OP posts:
Poptarts1056 · 26/11/2024 14:51

Hiya someone I genuinely loved and cared for was an alcoholic before we met. He stopped when he hit rock bottom in his life. So basically he ignored everyone. Got angry. Drank at work.lost his job. Eventually lost his girlfriend due to drinking and cheating on her several times. Then he had to move out the house he lived in with her. She ofcourse had been paying for the house and the food etc so he hadn't had to think.
He moved out. Continued to drink. Until he reached the point of overdose. The ex received the goodbye message and called him. She rang an ambulance and got him saved. He went in for 8 days and never touched it again.

I'd love to tell you he's a changed man. He was just angry and still as bad with women and life. He eventually got onto weed and cocaine and took prescribed pain killers in random doses and irresponsibly. He just didn't care enough to change his life.

It's a heartbreaking thing and everyone who loves them or cares suffers. There's simply nothing anyone can do. I propped him up for years and it didn't help him. He got worse. It got to the point where I was traumatised by his life and felt afraid to be involved. I still cared. Wished he could see a path in life that would make it all better. But he couldn't. He was exactly where he was choosing to be and it costs him everything.

Help2014 · 01/12/2024 20:24

I had been more positive about things regards cocaine use but slipped a bit again.

We have no support with the kids and do it when they are in bed. That’s the part that eats me up. I don’t need judgement as I’m well aware of what I need to do. I know I have a problem and going to attend a meeting in person this week. I’m scared the police will come to our house. Why is that not enough of a deterrent!!

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