Wine (day1)

[Mandy0000]

Hey,
I am writing here to see if there are any other mums struggling with this.

37 y.o mum of 2 DS (3 and 8), separated or just in between situation depending if DH can get his act together, 3 weeks alone with kids and then 1 week DH visits (working in a different country). I work full time and trying to build a house extension to create more space for me and the kids (sharing house with my mum), plus the usual cooking cleaning organising while raising those kiddos. I am exhausted while dealing with the pain my DH has caused with his cheating.

I am in therapy but it hasn’t helped with the below:

I use Wine to soothe the pain and to give me energy to get past the evenings.

Sometimes 1-2 glasses, sometimes a whole bottle. I tend to eat more because of that, so anything to numb the pain and the anxiety over life issues.

I feel I am not in control of this as every morning I say to myself,” noup I am not going to have a drink for a week now, or 10 day or a month etc”. I mark days on the calendar and make plans to not drink. But comes evening and I’m tired, sad, anxious, overwhelmed etc, and resorting to a drink/drinks :(

Day 1 for me today, as I write this in the morning. I am taking 1 day at a time and I’ll see how long I can go.

I hope to find a like minded friend here with whom we could do the “1 day at a time” together.

Thanks.

Sorry to hear about your situation OP - incredibly stressful. I used to use wine as a crutch & really believed it was helping but it’s so much better all round now that I don’t drink. I can’t do the “1 day at a time” with you as I quit 6 months ago but I can tell you the benefits of not relying on alcohol :-
Way more energy
Calmer & less anxious
Sleep tons better
Lost weight ( still got a long way to go but people are remarking how much better I look)
Skin has improved
Fewer aches & pains
More appreciation of little things
Knowing I will be around longer for DD15 ( I had built up to sometimes having 3 bottles of wine a day & if I’d continued, I would be heading for an early grave 😢)
I do understand OP as having a glass of wine, especially on an empty stomach, can give you that warm feeling. But one glass can lead to many, especially as your alcohol tolerance increases. I buy myself little treats instead of wine & have found quite a few alcohol free drinks ( there are some lovely botanics which are a good gin substitute - don’t know if you drink spirits?) I do occasionally miss wine eg a glass of red to compliment a nice steak or a chilled glass of rose in the garden on a hot day but honestly, feeling the way I do without alcohol more than makes up for it. Good luck OP & I hope things get better for you.