Oh dear I think I am an addict

[Anovaone]

Please no shaming as I already feel terrible. I have been buying OTC codeine for a while now as I had a bad back, I have never upped the dose and usually taking about 4 a day. I stopped taking them for 72 hours as I was so worried about being an addict. I didnt get any withdrawal symptoms and then took 2 as I had a migraine. I didnt so much crave them. I really suffer from health anxiety and hate the thought of being a bad person and I am so scared I have let my family down.

Can somebody reply to me, I have a massive fear of addiction

It doesn't sound like you are addicted? Just stop using them now, take paracetamol only?

I dont know if this is just my anxiety?

If you have to challenge yourself to go without something to check you aren't addicted, that often means there is a problem or at least one beginning. Maybe have a chat with your GP to talk about how to manage your pain and avoid the codeine? It's not good for your stomach and body to be taking that many for an extended period of time anyway so if you don't feel comfortable initially saying you're worried about addiction you could position it as worried for your health xx

Could you have a chat with the pharmacist? They might be able to reassure you, and advise on suitable painkillers for your back.

But being an addict is my biggest fear ever

Fantastic you have recognised it so early, don’t get me wrong it will still be hard, but not as hard as being further down into addiction.

Switch to paracetamol, if you continue to have problems, speak to the gp.

Am I a bad person?

If I were taking that many addictive tablets a day, I would also be worrying about an addiction. And theres a good chance that the migraine was a physical symptom of the withdrawal.

I think you should go speak to your GP, see if they need to check if you've done any physical damage or if that amount requires you to need to come off them slowly.

If you honestly think you might NOT be addicted, then why was codeine your go to for a migraine? As I don't think that's a common drug to deal with that issue- there are many other non-addictive drugs for that problem.

Your body will develop a tolerance to codeine after three days simultaneous use. In order for something to be a true addiction, you must also experience cravings (see Dr Gabor Mates work on this). Developing a physical dependency does not make you an addict. Many many drugs come with withdrawals when people come off them but that does not mean you are addicted in the true sense. You’re not abusing the medication, you’ve been taking well below the maximum daily dose. You may experience some codeine withdrawal but you do not sound like you have an addiction

Thats a very strange fear to have. Perhaps you also need to speak to your GP about counselling for this?

I am constantly thinking about it but I am not sure if that is my OCD telling me I am an addict, the thought of being an addict is more distressing than anything

Taking codine every single day definitely isn't good but having said that 4 tablets in 24 hours isn't a huge amount but you could become dependant. The migraine you got could be a withdrawal symptom... usually your migraine or headaches get worse when you don't take them . If you stop taking them then you could take paracetamol or ibuprofen to help with the pain.

Presumably you drink tea or coffee every day… do you have the same anxiety around being addicted to caffeine?

You really need to discuss this with your GP. Taking medication for a painful back does not make you a bad person.

No, I think because there is no shame in it, basically I just dont want to be a bad person and lose control and end up in rehab. How come it happens to some people, how do I know it will not happen to me?

I constantly read threads on here from addicts and I just feel so bad for them. It actually terrifies me

On 4 a day, without cravings, I’d suggest your issue here is your OCD and obsessive thinking, not the medication. Swap to paracetamol for now and speak to your GP about counselling (in my area you can actually self refer to a county funded service from the GP’s web page) so I’d start there. Ideally now.

Stop reading threads from addicts or about addition. You obviously don’t know much about it despite reading up on it.

You’ve got two identical threads running. Just don’t buy codeine any more. You shouldn’t be opting for codeine for a normal headache anyway. Just take paracetamol or ibuprofen and get some help for your OCD or health anxiety.

I think you have an anxiety and intrusive thoughts problem, not a codeine problem. What support are you getting for these fears? Have you discussed with your gp? Go to and have a chat with them, and ask to be referred for mental health support. You can self refer in many places but CBT might not be your best therapeutic option.

What treatment are you having for your MH and who is in charge of your care?

Try ibuprofen lysine next time you have a migraine, it works wonders for me when nothing else helps.
I don’t think you have to worry too much about 4 a day, as PP have said, the migraine was probably caused by stopping them but it won’t take long for the withdrawal to wear off.

You're not a "bad person". Lots of very good people are addicted to tobacco, alcohol, prescription medication, even stronger stuff. Even more have come to the sudden realisation that they're developing a level of dependency and have made moves to cut back- and it sounds that that's where you are.

I'm wondering if you grew up in the "Just Say No" era, where the message was that you must ALWAYS say no, and if you slipped up even once you could end up INSTANTLY ADDICTED like Zammo McGuire? A tad lacking in nuance, in hindsight...

Yes thats it.. My mum has put the fear of god into me with regards to drugs. It is not just that I obsess about though. I have been through episodes of thinking I have skin cancer/lymphoma

I mean, it's great to be aware of the dangers of addictive substances (and I can't help wondering if your mum smoked?), but that's very black and white thinking. You have identified the beginnings of a dependency (and prescription drugs kill way more people than illegal ones do), and you are sensibly pulling back, showing that your ability to self moderate is working well.