DH and alcohol

[molly5678]

I'm just not sure if i'm overreacting
DH has always liked a drink but the last few years has been steadily increasing the amount.
He gave up wine last year but has started again and easily has a bottle a night Fri to Sun and a few glasses one or two other nights.
If I suggest it's too much he gets so angry and defensive and says i'm just starting an argument.
he called me a loser tonight and said let's see how well I'd do without him (he's the main earner) all because I said perhaps he'd had enough.
I worry more as he has a strong family history of alcohol problems but he just gets so angry at me if I suggest he's careful and says it's my fault.
I just don't know what to do

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

He has 30+ units a week, gets angry and turns it around onto you if you mention it -it sounds like he already has a problem with alcohol.

What you do about it is either:
a)stay with him, put up with it and let him drink what he likes, or
b) leave.
You can’t make someone stop, or even reduce, their drinking unfortunately.

There is support and advice available for families.
https://al-anonuk.org.uk/

thanks so much for taking the time to reply
si do think he already has a problem but I guess I f have to decide whether to live with it or not. thanks again

He has a problem. He's attacking you verbally instead of having a reasonable conversation. Big red flag, without anything else.
What are your options OP? It sounds like he's more likely to leave the family than the bottle at this point. I'm so sorry

It's not your fault. He definitely has a problem.

Recommended units are 14 a week, with, I believe, at least two nights alcohol free a week

Thank you for your reply
yes it's impossible to have a reasonable conversation with him around alcohol, he just gets angry and calls me names and says i'm just starting an argument
I don't want to leave him , we have two children and he is a great dad and husband in every other way,
its just this issue

I'm sorry to read this OP,
As a child of an alcoholic, who knows lots of children of alcoholics, we have all witnessed significant trauma and let down from our parents.
Maybe not in the beginning, but as the addiction progresses it certainly becomes more noticeable, and harder for everyone.

You may not want to leave now, but if you will take one piece of advice- keep your eye on the situation, as you slowly make it so you can leave if it progresses. Just think of it as a far off insurance to yourself and your kids.
I hope you never need it, but I don't know of a single marriage that has survived one alcoholic partner.

thank you @Ohdojustfuckoff good advice
thank you to you all

It's definitely excessive, and the fact he gets defensive suggests he knows it is aswell.

I have zero patience for alcoholics or drunk people, as they're just unreasonable and aggressive. Put me in a room with stoners any day over pissheads!