Hard to write this, but my husband has a problem with alcohol. Well I think he does.
since we met 5 years ago, he’s always liked a drink, a beer mainly. The last 18 months, he started to pop off after work for one, and then lie about it. This has got worse and worse as time has gone on. He now stops off on his way home from work and has up to 5 pints. Sometimes it’s just a couple but sometimes it’s 5. He is driving afterwards to come home. He will say he’s popping to the shop to get milk, but disappear for ages and go for a drink in the middle of the day. I catch him out often but he lies about it. Says he has no problem and that it’s normal. He does manage to do his job, I don’t think alcohol has affected that aspect of his life yet, but he drink drives and needs a license for his job, never mind the fact he could kill an innocent person.
the thing is, it’s badly affecting our relationship now. He isn’t very nice after a drink, very short tempered and the best way to describe him would be annoying. He isn’t a pleasant person when drinking.
has had issues with depression In the past, not sure if that’s relevant. It’s come to a head because I’ve stopped liking him. I’ve stopped wanting to sleep with him, and he’s noticed. He’s upset as previously we’ve always been intimate a lot. I’ve now explained to him why I feel that way, quite simply him after a drink is off putting, and I told him that I think he has a problem with drink.
he’s admitted he does have a problem today, but says he can quit without help. I know he can’t.
i love him, we have kids together and when he’s not had a drink he’s amazing. I do want to help and support but how? Selfishly though it’s destroying me.