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Addiction support

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Original poster

Teenager deals drugs - NEED URGENT HELP

22 replies

SomersetMum123 · 27/09/2023 17:58

Hi everyone,
What do you do when your teenage son starts dealing drugs (cannabis)? How do you help or stop him? In your experience, is it worth moving to another city, or does it in fact make things worse?

OP posts:

tennine · 27/09/2023 17:59

13 or 19?

Meeting · 27/09/2023 17:59

Police need to be involved. The adults that are recruiting children to sell their drugs need to be found and prosecuted.

Scutterbug · 27/09/2023 18:01

Horrible situation to be in so firstly sending you strength. I’d report him to the police if you haven’t already in the hope they would take some action because he very much could be the victim here of a county lines drugs gang.

UndercoverCop · 27/09/2023 18:03

Move to another city and he will find the same people there. You need to address the underlying causes. How old is he? It's likely your local youth offending team will have early help/early intervention schemes you can self refer to

Woush · 27/09/2023 18:08

Tell the police, its illegal

Tell school, he could be being criminally exploited and be in need of support

Accept you need a referral to children's services so your family can be support to help him

Jagley · 27/09/2023 18:14

How old is he? Advice will be different depending if he's younger teen or older teen.

Lastchancechica · 27/09/2023 18:42

His age is extremely important.
Under 18 - it’s a safe guarding issue, potentially county lines.

Over 18 - a serious conversation about where you go from here with him.

Original poster

SomersetMum123 · 27/09/2023 19:41

Thank you all for your messages. A bit more info: he's 16, the police are already aware of the situation but not doing much... and it is indeed a county lines issue (some of the other kids involved have been arrested...).

OP posts:

Woush · 27/09/2023 20:41

Can you explain a little more about your son?

Children who are exploited through county lines ususlly are vulnerable in other ways.

Have you seen a social worker yet? Is their a social care assessment or CIN Plan?

In terms of moving areas, if you are able to do this then yes, I would.

Original poster

SomersetMum123 · 27/09/2023 21:01

Woush · 27/09/2023 20:41

Can you explain a little more about your son?

Children who are exploited through county lines ususlly are vulnerable in other ways.

Have you seen a social worker yet? Is their a social care assessment or CIN Plan?

In terms of moving areas, if you are able to do this then yes, I would.

I think he was initially targeted as he is on the small side and very sweet natured. He was badly bullied at school - bike(s) stolen, tires constantly slashed, racial abuse. I informed the school and nothing was done, and things just carried on... It looks like he's now dealing to feel in control (which of course, he isn't). He has a loving family and a comfortable home so it's not money motivated nor is he exposed to violence. He has low self-esteem and tends to be easily led.

OP posts:

RoseBucket · 27/09/2023 21:07

Have a look here, the helpline at the bottom can be really useful https://www.safe4me.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Unseen-County-Lines-Exploitation-guide-for-parentscarers-practitioners.please

https://www.safe4me.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/Unseen-County-Lines-Exploitation-guide-for-parentscarers-practitioners.pdf

Frodedendron · 27/09/2023 21:19

How deep is he in? Is he traveling, going missing overnight? How much money does he appear to be making? It's a good sign if it's "just" cannabis (and probably why the police are not very interested), are you sure it's nothing harder? The kids who are in real real trouble ime tend to disappear for a couple of days at a time and are transporting Class A substances.

Be prepared that he may be in debt to whoever is above him and therefore trapped in dealing (to repay the "debt"). I know one mum who went out to speak to this guy in his car, paid him a couple of grand and told him never to come near her son again, which did the trick (seriously).

Yes, moving areas could well help, but might not be a cure-all. If he has access to a phone (impossible to prevent at 16) he is contactable anywhere. However the long term solutions (building up his self esteem, getting him to engage in doing something else with his life) take time and moving is the one thing you can do quickly.

Woush · 27/09/2023 21:29

As pp asks, to what extent is he involved?

Is he part of a gang? How often is he going missing and for how long?

Do you have a social worker supporting you? You need specialists supporting you, he is very much a victim.

Blueeyedmale · 27/09/2023 21:55

You need to speak to professionals,sadly getting them to deal in cannabis is usually just the start, usually once they can be trusted delivering it then moves onto harder drugs,you need to speak to support worker and the police that specialize in county lines,he can be saved from this before it gets even more serious I'm not saying this to scare you OP its just the reality of these awful gangs how they exploit children

Lastchancechica · 28/09/2023 05:59

Can you move him to grandparents or a relatives house in another part of the country? He is massively at risk, forget about the drugs it’s his safety ( and yours) that are now on the line. The police appear be to be addressing the issue but do you feel he even has the choice? I would move immediately.

sadaboutmycat · 28/09/2023 17:19

In your case yes, I would move. If you can, totally relocate and work with him to address his self esteem. Maybe an Apprenticeship so he's earning and learning.
If you don't move they will always find him and persuade him to return to it.

jazzyfips · 28/09/2023 17:38

If it’s county lines, I would seriously think about moving.

SpringViolet · 28/09/2023 17:40

Is he using himself? How long has this been going on? Did he tell you what’s been going on himself. Does he want to stop? Have you informed his school/college to see what support they can refer you to?

I have to say I’d be moving far, far away if he’s involved with a gang who may not let him just leave even if he wanted to. Phone removed and contract terminated so they can’t contact him via that or WhatsApp. Search for burners. Close down all SM accounts. Taken and collected from
school and grounded until you move. Whole household moved if they know where he lives.

He needs you to take control of this situation as hard as it is as the police obviously aren’t going to and if they did get involved and wanted names, he’d be in danger of retribution.

SisterSpy · 08/09/2024 12:48

Hey,

Just wondered if you had an update on this and if you found anything that worked? Going through a similar thing with my younger sibling.

thanks in advance

SachaLane · 08/09/2024 13:10

I work with schools @SisterSpy

Assuming your sibling is at school -

my first step would be for your parents to contact the Designated Safeguarding Lead at your siblings school. Meet with them, they will advise you.

Keeping Children Safe in Education outlines the schools responsibility.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/keeping-children-safe-in-education--2

Durdledore · 08/09/2024 13:21

SisterSpy · 08/09/2024 12:48

Hey,

Just wondered if you had an update on this and if you found anything that worked? Going through a similar thing with my younger sibling.

thanks in advance

Well done for reaching out for help. I hope your sister gets the support she needs.

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 08/09/2024 13:30

I would be reaching out for support from your local authority either early help or social care to help coordinate the support for your son and your family, some local authorities have specific teams to work with children and families where the child is being exploited. If you look up the number for the MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) in your area you can talk through the situation, they may also be able to refer you to third sector organisations in your area - for example Catch 22 who can support.

You would I think also really benefit from speaking to Ivison Trust formerly known as PACE (parents against child exploitation) - they are an organisation set up to support parents and carers who children are being criminally or sexually exploited. They have face to face support in certain areas or telephone support in others.

ivisontrust.org.uk/for-parents/support-for-child-exploitation/

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