Hiya I wanted to message you because I had a relationship for 3 years plus with an addict. He stopped drinking. Then he smoked weed and little did I know he was smoking crack! He went to work, earned well but always skint.
I see it like this. Deep down inside themselves they do love you. They do care. They may well like "taking care of you" he'd cook for me. He'd run me a bath. Massage my feet..he'd sometimes have this positive speech about the future. He'd talk about how good it will get one day for us.
But sadly there's another side to them..its selfish. They have mood swings. They sleep for ages. They are up all night at other times. They eat everything then they have no appetite. They feel sick. Then have stomach aches. They sweat loads and feel unwell when they don't have what they want.
All their money goes on their fix. Before you know it they are wanting £40 or crying to you because they got sacked or they can't afford the rent. Then they go into depressions because its not fair and they have to struggle.
You become like their mother. Telling them they'll be OK. Lending them money. Guiding them back on track. Advising them on money. You may even cry and express anger at them failing. You become more and more untrusting. They go out at night. You get scared for their safety. You might begin to snoop around. You'll find evidence of drug use in their bags or drawers. . You'll get worried about them peeing off a dealer. They may well pee off a dealer! Getting mugged. Money going missing. Items being sold.
The worst part of it is they lie about absolutely everything. They say they are off to buy teabags and milk and they go buy weed or worse from their dealer. They spend your cash on it even though you hand your tenner over explaining your skint and frightened about your overdraft. They choose themselves over and over again.
He's human. He's not evil. He still has wants and needs. He still wants to feel safe and happy. But he will grind you down with worry, anxiety and stress. You don't need that. Trust me. The relationship will eat you up.