My daughters father is addicted to ketamine. We have been through court and they have given me full custody and advised contact to only be through a contact centre. I used the courts as a tool in hope it would give him a kick up the butt to stop using, but he barely turned up and didn’t do anything that they asked of him, drugs tests and is still using etc from the first court hearing contact with him was stopped. He was able to see her in a contact centre but he never arranged this. He also pays no child support at all. She is now 5 and up until 4 she saw him regularly every week so it’s been a big change for her, she really misses him and struggles to understand the situation. I tell her he loves her very much but he isn’t well enough for her to be with him and we will continue to talk about it and I can explain more when she’s older. He has always been very emotionally and verbally abusive to me which I always tolerated for the sake of her relationship with her dad but was advised from social services and court to have no contact with him myself which we have done and is great…
however she is missing him more and more… should I facilitate supervised contact with him in a public setting regularly so she still gets that contact or would it be best to keep to no contact? I’m battling with what is the worse of two evils… she grows up without a dad at all and protect her from the addiction and toxic behaviours etc or allow her to see him in this half hearted non parental state that he is in, but it means she doesn’t miss him and feel completely abandoned by him… any advice or suggestions really appreciated.
I am struggling a lot juggling it all and it’s very consuming and sad I just want to do the best for her and minimise her trauma and my head and heart are always very conflicting