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Husband addicted to cannabis.

8 replies

familyoftree · 10/08/2023 20:12

I'm just looking to see if anybody has been the partner of someone who is addicted to cannabis and can help me.

My husband has smoked weed for years, before we had kids it was quite a lot however he's always had a great job and it hasn't affected our life. Once we had kids he cut down a lot but didn't stop. Occasionally he would say he wants a break and he would go a few weeks without it. The past few years this has become harder to do. Almost every time he says he wants a break he doesn't stop. He says he wants to but he just can't seem to do It. At the start he wouldn't admit it was a problem but now he has.

The problem I have is, each time he has a "break" to prove to himself that he isn't addicted, he becomes nasty he becomes incredibly agitated. He spends less time at home because he says he can't stop when he's around me and the kids because of the stress. I've done this countless times and this time I said to him either you cut down and carry on or you stop and stop for good because I can't keep being the target when he's stopping for his emotional abuse.

Today he's gone absolutely insane at me because I was home a few minutes later than I said I would be. He called to see where I was and I told him I was 2 minutes away and he started yelling on the phone so I ended the call. Now he's said he's going out and won't tell me where. Says it's none of my business.

I don't know how much more I can take. What if we're still stuck in this quitting cycle in years to come. He's also become paranoid and his moods are extremely up and down I don't know what type of person I'll be waking up to one day to the next.

I love him with all my heart but I don't know when to say enough is enough. I know people hurt those closest to them when they are trying to stop using a substance but we have 3 children who I am taking care of 99.9% of the time and it is so hard to keep myself together when he's being awful to me.

He knows he needs to stop and he's doing well this time but I can't help but think all this abuse will be for nothing when he starts again and in a few months time I'll be in this position yet again.

😔

OP posts:
Blueturtle15 · 31/08/2023 07:24

Hiya you posted a while ago but thought I'd reply. I'm loosing my partner to the same thing. All he cares about is weed and cocaine has now joined! In terms of weed he's wasted so much money on the stuff. He's moody and swinging from happy to sad. He's honestly no fun to be around. I am waiting for some money back from him then I intend on leaving.

Its selfish. They are selfish. You and the kids are not to blame for him needing a "fix" to function.

clarebear111 · 31/08/2023 07:30

I didn’t want to read and run. How old are your DCs? A big thing for me would be their exposure to what is still an illegal substance, and one that is not regulated.

Could you contact a charity or addiction specialist for help? It may be that your partner is going to be a cannabis user for the rest of his life. How do you feel about that?

seennothinglikeit · 31/08/2023 07:40

Sounds like a miserable existence for you and your DC. Mental, physical and financial drain. You will carry this man for years if you let him, think its ultimatum time.

Poivresel · 31/08/2023 12:02

Enough was enough years ago!
You need to get some boundaries, your dp is a paranoid drug addict.

AInightingale · 02/10/2023 08:39

How are you now OP? I had the same problem with my ex, I left him. With hindsight it was the best idea. He gave up to 'prove' he could do it and as you state, the verbal onslaught/namecalling from him got worse. Are you any further forward? Weed is a serious dependency and I wish society would take it seriously!

He's still using it afaik. A man in his 50s. It's not something users 'grow out of'.

AInightingale · 02/10/2023 08:41

I also see he blames you and the kids for causing him 'stress' so he is forced to continue smoking it. Nice bit of emotional abuse and victim-blaming there.

Tomsthumbs · 05/04/2024 02:46

You will of course be stuck in this quitting cycle le for many many miserable years to come.
Please get yourselves the best professional help. Children should not live around this abuse

Friend2023 · 15/04/2024 23:04

I had a weed addict boyfriend years ago , my daughters Dad. And he was a monster to be around when he had no weed for days. I walked on egg shells like drawing pins. He would slam doors , I was every c### under the sun. He would kick off at everyone at work and he was just vile to be around. He would lie on the floor just bouncing his leg off the floor coz he couldn't sleep , wouldn't eat , couldn't concentrate.

I made him rent a room over the road at a neighbours house coz he was so vile to be around when he had none.

They say weed is harmless which may be right when they are smoking it but when they ain't got any , or giving it up , it's far from jolly then.
And most women I know who have partners who smoke it say the same , their lives are hell if their partners don't have any. Argumentative arseholes with anger issues.
People who smoke it will never admit this but if they had to live a day around the reality they would understand.

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