Getting help for DS

[AnotherDayAnotherUsernameForMeAgain]

Desperately hoping someone can signpost me or offer up some advice.

DS 21 has clearly been drinking too much for a while and we suspected drug use.
He has now, in trickles, admitted to owing money for cocaine and running up a large drinks tab in the pub he works (alongside studying). It would appear that for some months he has been paid, paid off his debts then built them up again on repeat.

He has said not continuing education, although passed his college course, and will figure it out. DH and I both think he needs to stop working in the pub for starters and face up to the face he has addiction issues.

Are we over reacting? Under reacting?
We have 2 younger DC who live at home too. I can’t stop crying.

I can't offer much in the way of practical advice or signposting but I read your message and was shocked at how similar it was to the experience we had with my brother at the same age. He got into a lot of trouble (although not with the police thankfully). My parents bailed him out, made him quit his job in a bar and got him support to stop the drugs (and drinking for a little bit but it was mainly drugs that had become the issue). He got a different job, still in hospitality but not in a bar and with more regular hours, and sorted himself out completely. He's now in his mid-thirties, married, second child on its way, finally went to uni in his late twenties and now works in a SEN school. I'm sure it seems incredibly bleak right now - and I remember it well - but just to give you some hope that it can get better.

Thank you @mynameiscalypso, I just had a good cry. He has been on such a downward spiral since lockdown/losing a grandparent.

I think being tough on him is the only option we have, I just worry he leaves home and it all gets worse.

I’m bumping for the morning if anyone can offer advice.

I can identify with your post, and you’re certainly not over reacting. We had issues with our son and drugs.
I turned to www.famanon.org.uk which is for the family/friends of somebody with a suspected drug problem. They have a forum, helpline, literature, online and face 2 face meetings. I had to use tough love, stop enabling, implement boundaries and it’s great to share with others with similar issues. My life has improved immensely and so has my son’s.