Online sex chat

[kazarenka]

Hi there

So well I really don't know where to start.
My partner has elevated testosterone and very sexually charged. I have discovered he has spent £7000+ in the last 6 months chatting online to girls. Well I actually think loads are bots.
The site is called Whispark
The girls say they are from Ukraine and China predominantly. I think sadly the site is capitalising on the Ukraine war and blokes are feeling sorry for them.
The photos are all really touched up and as soon as you log in, you are inundated with messages. Funny how they are always available at these times!! Bots.
I have approached him about this and he said he would stop then he just went to another site.
The first site was Victoriya something or other.
He did go to see a sex therapist but hasn't gone back again. I bought a book about addiction recently and left it by my bed for him to read. He replied that he has tackled his demons and that was that. He doesn't know yet I have been able to access this new site.
He is very transparent when he does in it. Usually when I am at work, he is in the bath or the in the middle of the night trip to the loo! He demeanour changes as well. He becomes more cocky and talk dirty.
I have weighed this up and at first I was ok with it because he could talk to them like really dirty and not me. Ex. ' calling them sluts etc.....'.
But now he is saying we may not be able to go on holiday because of finance's. And he keeps going on about money.
I love him and I know he has a problem.
How can I calmly approach this again with him and not have him fly off the handle.
I just want him to get the help he needs.

He doesn't think that he needs help.

I think that you should leave him to it.

He sounds vile

I wouldn't be calm about anything. He's blatantly lying to your face and disrespecting you. Why are you so passive about this?

We have discussed this previously and he admitted he was addicted. I know he loves me.
He has trauma I think from his childhood and we really have a wonderful life together. Except for this issue.
Addiction is a horrible thing.

I am very patient and love him. I know he is a good man but there is this darkness that he cannot shake.

He was diagnosed with elevated testosterone so I know this has a play in the situation.

Thank you for listening

Is there anything that could lower his testosterone?

I am going to see if he will go see a therapist again

Didn’t know elevated testosterone was a thing but of course there’s something he can do about it. Have a wank - that’s free!

I know right!!

He likes the talk and photos.

I already said to use pornhub. It's free!!

Exactly- he can find free porn.
I think you’ve been pretty understanding but he’s being selfish now

He has “elevated testosterone “ Is that a self diagnosis? I am guessing yes.
He is addicted-of course he is
He has childhood trauma- that’s sad but it doesn’t entitle him to use family money to call other women “sluts”. Do you think they are sluts?

Honestly your standards are low and you should consider why you think this is acceptable.

The diagnosis is from the doctor. It has been going up since he was 55

He is not having a physical relationship and I know this has nothing to do with me or our relationship.

It's an addiction and I know we can work it through.

I am asking if anyone else has experience of this.

I wouldn't say I have low standards at all. We have known each other for 25 years.
I am not one to run away from a problem and I think staying and finding a way to work it all out, shows stinger character.

It’s never a good idea to start attacking the person who is the partner of a man with a sex addiction @knottsberryfarm

Please direct any anger you feel at the appropriate person

It's an addiction and I know we can work it through.

What's he doing to work through it?

Well he did see a therapist but sadly she got ill, and hasn't returned.
That was 6 months ago. So now I need to brooch the subject again and ask if he had a chance to look for another one.

Alternatively, i could do a bit of research and locate one. However, I want him to do this as it's part of the process

Ps
Thank you
@Twiglets1

You want him to do it but will he? 6months has already passed and what's he done?

Consider having a calm and non-confrontational conversation with your partner. Express your concerns, emphasize your love for him, and your desire to support him in getting the help he needs. You might also suggest seeking professional help together, such as couples therapy, which can provide a safe space for both of you to address the issues.
In the context of technology and relationships, you might want to explore resources like sex ai chat, which can offer insights into building healthier connections and addressing challenges within relationships.
Remember that addressing these issues with empathy and understanding can lead to positive outcomes.

Two cups of spearmint tea can lower testosterone ins women, you could research if it has the same effect in men.

Yes this is a sensible and reasonable suggestion 👀