Will social get involved

[Mamixx]

I lost my baby at 6w6 days this year, I had a traumatic experience. It was a missed miscarriage, and I had the pessary it didn't fully work, had another one, and it didn't work. Then had to have them try scrape it out, didn't work and was too painful to them needing surgery. I was left like this for 4 months. I have eupd. And since losing my baby, I've felt so numb and failed. I am so upset cos I never imagined this to happen to me. I've stated to do coke every weekend , a Friday or Friday and Saturday. I work during the weeks. I'm so ashamed of myself, I feel like I'm addicted to it. I have two chicken and I love and adore them and I'm so worried if I seek help, will social services be involved? Cos i can't let my mum know she will disown me.
I feel so numb, and im not coping everyday I think of the baby, and why me. It's changed me and I didn't expect it.
plwas don't judge me, im ashamed as it is

Not judging. I think you are incredibly brave to admit a problem to start with. And I'm sorry for your loss of your baby.

I think you need to go and seek support before your use escalates - admitting a dependency already is an amazing first step.

Narcotics anonymous? What happens is between you and your sponsor. They are absolutely nothing to do with social services or the NHS.
Sue Ryder offer GriefKind support which may be helpful with your grief?

Social Services are nothing to be feared anyway. Their primary function is support, not the big bad social that steal kids.

Good luck. Things will get better.

Thank you so much for your reply & being lovely. I don't want an addiction, I want to stop but it's cos I'm grieving I feel like I want to be numb. When I do it my children are at their dads they aren't in my care I forgot to add.

I'll speak to that person you said. I'd rather not have social involved I know sometimes they're good, but my friends have had them and ive seen such a horrible side to them z

www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/bereavement-information/grief-kind

ukna.org/ - Narcotics Anonymous.

You can do this. You've done the hardest first step of recognising the problem - and you have seen it before it escalated. Make contact with these - take things one day at a time. Literally. NA will teach you 'just for today, I will not use.' It can make things more manageable too as it breaks what seems like an ever lasting future into small manageable chunks.

There really is nothing to judge. You can get through this tought time. ❤️

How are you doing?