Any alternative to the AA etc?

[Blue4YOU]

I’m not going to lie, I’ve got substance abuse issues that developed since I stopped doing EMDR and associated things that help me.
I’m scared I’m becoming an alcoholic.
it’s because of childhood trauma to start with but the alcohol stuff started after assault by a doctor. It’s me against the NHS in a legal battle I’ll lose, but I’m already lost.
advice on non AA please?

I wrote about the difficulties of AA as an atheist, the steps specifically describe ‘God’ and it’s only modern linguistic twisting in order to appeal to a wider, modern, secular population. It doesn’t work for everyone. It doesn’t address the underlying reasons for drinking, it treats alcohol as the problem rather than a symptom. For some, that may be the case for others, not so much.

My atheist husband tried AA, it absolutely wasn’t for him for all of the above reasons. He then saw a psychotherapist with a specialism in alcohol/substance misuse, they unpacked the reasons for his drinking in a structured, supported way and they were able to come up with a set of tools to help him process it and navigate his emotions without using alcohol.

Peer support like AA has its place, I’m no poo-pooing it. I just don’t believe it is the be all and end all and if it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean you are out of options.

CGL in my area are useless too.

they unpacked the reasons for his drinking in a structured, supported way and they were able to come up with a set of tools to help him process it and navigate his emotions without using alcohol.

That’s interesting. Does this form of therapy require total abstinence, or does the therapist believe with the right treatment your dh could go back to social drinking?

@Andante57, he started with not drinking and he is now able to drink socially. He is about 2yrs in. He finds it quite exhausting though as he is still at the stage where he is very conscious of his decisions, thoughts and feelings around every drink. He may always feel like that and may decide that the pay off isn’t worth it, or the decisions, thoughts and feelings may become second nature and he may able to drink without them being front and centre and still maintain control, who knows. That’s his decision, ultimately.

Lynne thank you for answering my question.

Interesting. The drinker in my life says they drink because they are depressed but the GP won't give meds for depression till they stop drinking. Then again they say they get a big buzz from drinking - so I'm not convinced curing the depression would cure the addiction. They want to go from being a secret drinker to be a sociable drinker. They have said they don't have the confidence to do AA. They haven't got the self-control to taper as suggested by CGL and they won't go to a detox unit. I don't really know of any more options. They are ruining several people's lives - can't convince their nearest and dearest to stop enabling - even to the point where they are supplying and paying for the alcohol.

The problem with a "real alcoholic" rather than a heavy drinker, is that we cannot control our drinking. Alcohol is a depressant, and anti depressants dont work when you are drinking heavily. If they are ruining several people's lives with their drinking I doubt there's much buzzing going on. At that point it's normally just about killing your emotions.

As for confidence, it doesn't take much confidence to go to an AA zoom meeting. He's full of excuses because he wants to drink. Dogcheck, I'd concentrate on yourself because you can't help an alcoholic when they don't want to change.

I'd advise going to Alanon to get an insight into alcoholic behaviours and support for yourself and those who are affected by his drinking

Have you been to an AA meeting?
First, I'm an atheist and I stopped drinking through AA and am now 14 years sober. I initially had difficulty with the religious aspect of the fellowship but a very wise, 25 years sober man said to look at GOD as Good Orderly Direction. And it worked!
When I first went to meetings is was in a part of the country that sounds very similar to what you're describing.
I was surprised at the wide range of people I met at meetings. It was not as I expected. I never came across any racism at all, or anything like it.

PLEASE PLEASE GO TO AA. you can have a few drinks to get the courage to go. There is no requirement to be sober when you go, as long as you can speak, but it's mainly about listening. They've dropped the god element these days. There are people from all walks of life. They will pick you up if you need a lift. The kindness and compassion are amazing. These people are ANGELS absolute angels. It took me a lot of trying and failing but it worked. Dan (20 years sober)