Biting the rehab bullet

[Confused09876]

So today was the last straw with my partners alcohol addiction. Things have slowly got worse and worse over the past year, first it was sneaking mouthfuls of spirits from the cupboard once I'd gone to bed and now it's at such a level he doesn't work, eat, shower or function on a day to day level. The stress on our family (four DC's and I work full time) is horrendous and I never know what each day is going to bring. In total, we think he's drinking about 25 units of alcohol a day and last week he was arrested for being drunk (when he was meant to be at work).

After calling various charities and helplines today I decided we were going to have to pay for treatment and with his agreement, he will be attending a rehab centre for 14 days, starting tomorrow- this has cost over 7k.

I guess I'm here trying to find some hope. Has anyone on here any experience of rehab centres working? Is two weeks long enough? What do we do to support him when he comes out? It's so hard as the person I loved was high functioning, successful and happy.

Where are you in the country, going straight into rehab is unusual not to mention expensive? I work for a charity that helps individuals affected by substance misuse, would your husband not consider looking at that kind of option first?

Hey, thanks for your reply. We're in the North West.

The rehab is something I have reached out to directly as we have been unable to get support through other services. I have contacted our GP, attended A&E, spoken to various charity and mental health services and the timescales have just been too long and he continues to spiral downwards.

He has attended AA but that's not worked for him and in all honestly I've got to a point where having him somewhere safe for two weeks feels like a relieving option as I am continuously worried he will go and do something stupid that impacts him or others.

Is he happy/willing to go to rehab, if so then great but don't expect him to be "cured" in two weeks, he will need to access support when he comes out and stick with it. There are also a number of services that can help you and your family deal with his addiction depending on where you are exactly

Sorry to sound pessimistic, I don't mean to, it's just not a process that can be given a timescale, everyone is different. I'm going to sleep now but will post some more information tomorrow

You don't sound pessimistic, I appreciate your input. I know this isn't going to be a quick fix.

He does want to go to rehab but he is scared of going. I think alcohol has been a huge crutch for him and he has been using it to 'cure' mental health issues he has, which I'm hoping the therapists at rehab can support with.

Unfortunately the hospital have refused to give him a mental health assessment whilst he is drinking so much, they say they can't establish a root cause or medicate someone with this level of alcohol dependency (which I understand) so I feel unable to get him the mental health support he needs until we do something to target the drink.

I'm hoping that two weeks will break the cycle for him and that we can then establish some form of plan for when he comes out. Any suggestions on what should be in the plan are greatly appreciated.

Hi, sorry to hear of your situation but 14 days is really just a detox. Rehab takes much longer. I'm a recovering alcoholic and it took 3 months in residential rehab care plus six months in therapy to get me well. It's a long slog but so worth it. I wish you all the best.

Just to add - AA didn't work for me but I worked with my local drug and alcohol addiction service provider for several months before going into residential rehab for 3 mths.
After a very traumatic few years I accepted my problem and went into residential care after a subsidise attempt. It was hard, very hard but necessary to get my life back. I'm so thankful for that service and am rebuilding my life with my adult kids and have a lovely life now, that I couldn't have imagined 5yrs ago. 14 days is not enough in my experience and opinion. Please pm me if you have any questions. I really hope you can all move on from this. It can be done x

Suicide not subsidise

14 days will get him past the physical withdrawal issues. Speak to the rehab center about follow on outpatient care options. He'll need some type of peer support group certainly.

I'm 27 years sober and did it with a seven day inpatient detox and AA.

@MissConductUS is amazing!
AA/NA/CA worked for many people I know, just not me, so I would never discredit the support/organisation/theory they offer and I do live by some of the sayings eg 'this too shall pass'
Different strokes for different folks I guess. But please get a support system in place for when your partner leaves detox as they will need on going care. I wish you all the very best. I know many people who have overcome addiction and I really hope your partner does too.

Thank you for all your help. I will definitely try and get some professional support in place for when he comes out. It's comforting to hear stories from people who have come through this and succeeded.

Most people who get treatment do recover. Addiction is a treatable medical condition.

There is life after addiction. Most people recover

I wouldn't have made it without peer support. You need to meet people who have learned to live normal, happy, fulfilling lives without alcohol to believe that it is possible for you. Also, the group reinforces your commitment. You make friends there and don't want to let them down. Ask him to give AA another go or find something equivalent.