Codeine Withdrawal. Day three.

[PippaPoppy]

I am addicted to codeine. I am currently on day three of withdrawal and just wanted to write this all down. No one IRL knows. Not even my DH who is my world and has been for the last 17 years. I am just so ashamed that I can’t tell anyone.

My daughter was born 19 months ago a few months into the pandemic when there was just no support available. After a difficult pregnancy she was born 5 weeks early. I developed post natal anxiety and it was horrendous. I begged my GP for help but my referral to the specialist clinic was rejected. I have never felt so much emotional pain or fear in all my life. I was convinced my baby was dying, I was convinced there was something horribly wrong with her. I can’t really describe the feeling, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

I remembered reading something about codeine and how good it makes you feel. I think it was something on Mumsnet actually. I decided to try it. It was wonderful. It eased everything and it helped me sleep. Before long, I couldn’t be without it. The rest is history.

My drug of choice was Nurofen Plus. In the space of 18 months I went from 2, 3 times a day to 12, 3 times a day. 36 a day. 450mg of codeine and 7200mg of ibuprofen.

For the last few months I’ve been feeling so ill. My stomach is a mess, my hair and nails are brittle and broken, I am so tired all the time. Every time I went to take my dose I would gag and have to force them down. It was as if my body was screaming at me to stop.

I looked at my baby girl a few days ago and broke down. How could I do this to her? I’m killing myself. She deserves so much more. I want to be around for her and watch her grow.

I made the decision to stop. I took my last dose at lunchtime on Monday, I’ve just entered day three of withdrawal. It’s hell. Everything hurts. My legs are so restless. I’ve been taking Imodium and anti-sickness pills to stop the gastro side effects. It’s helping. I just wish I could stop thinking about it, the mental battle is immense. I have no one to talk to about this. I will not use again. I’m excited for who I am going to be when this is over. I keep looking at my baby girl and telling her ‘I’m so sorry baby, I’m going to be better, I’m going to be better for you.’ I know she can’t understand me but I swear it’s like she knows, every time I say it to her she runs over to me for a cuddle.

I’ve got this. The pain is my retribution and I am embracing it. I have no one but myself to blame.

Hi @PippaPoppy & everyone else looking for advice and help (not that i have any to give just yet).

i know this was posted last year but i just wanted to message to say how much inspiration this has given me (i write as i cry my eyes out). I am in the same boat as you, i had my son in July 2021, the most precious little boy who i would do anything for, i got a back injury when he was around 14 months old that i needed codeine 30mg for, i was also suffering really badly with PPA and PPD, it was debilitating and my husband was working all hours so i was struggling big time, anyway, after i recovered from my back injury i found myself still taking the codeine because of how much it relaxed me and i felt like i could deal with all that life was throwing at me if i could just have that relaxed feeling at the end of each day, it was better than a drink because i felt fresh in the morning too. I eventually realised it had become a problem and I've stopped cold turkey 2 times so far but the restless leg syndrome was the worst part for me it was unbearable like an itch i couldn’t reach. Fast forward to now and I’m desperate to stop, my beautiful boy is 2.4yrs old, i look at him the same way you looked at your daughter, although i am functioning i know i have a problem, i take max 8 30mg tablets a day, i know that is less than some but im still struggling to stop because im terrified of the withdrawal symptoms. I feel ashamed, embarrassed and like ive failed my family (who have absolutely no idea im going through this). I found out 4 days ago that i’m pregnant again, i want to go cold turkey but im worried about the effects it could have on the baby, i know my only option really is to go to the doctors but im scared they’ll involve SS and once its out in the open there’s no going back. Im determined to stop though so if anyone can give me advice on how i can do this i would really appreciate it. Also, how long did your withdrawal symptoms last and how long did you crave?

thanks in advance.

(i hope no one judges me for this, i thought i was untouchable when it came to addiction but had a rude awakening that it most definitely wasn’t the case when it was too late, i was just looking for some peace in my constant daily struggles)

Cold turkey is never the answer, @Lexiflan. You can usually self-refer to your local addiction service for support.

Well done OP getting of this drug.

I'm currently in withdrawal from prescribed codeine that I haven't been misusing but am addicted to it turns out.

I realised this when I started to feel really ill every time I wasn't taking a regular dose. So... as my pain is less chronic and I'm having surgery soon, I decided to stop taking the medication.

Holy cow, I'm freezing! I can't get warm for love nor money... I'm in bed under my duvet with my halogen heater pointing at me and a hot water bottle and about three layers of clothes and a hoodie.

Also I feel sleepy all the time and quite sad and tearful.

It's tempting to take a dose just to get warm again.

I can see how heroin addiction works now. Just want to be warm!

I managed to stop thankfully! I weaned myself off it slowly and actually found that i couldn’t stand the thought of it because of the pregnancy, been off it 3 weeks now and haven’t had any desire to take it since. Never looking back

That's brilliant! Well done. How were your withdrawal symptoms, @Lexiflan ?

Wow, Pippapoppy, that's exactly like me. I have been addicted to it for so long, nearly 15 years. And my hubby doesn't know either. But I'm trying, keep trying, cause at least you know I don't want to be this way forever. I'm 46. I won't reach 50 if I don't stop.good luck missus.🤗🤗🤗

Withdrawal wasn’t great BUT i had it worse the last time i stopped. It was more agitation and restless leg syndrome this time. I went into hospital with one of the worst migraines ive ever had just before i stopped, came out of hospital and had to take the last of my tablets but once i ran out because i already felt crappy from the after effects of the migraine i thought it best i just bite the bullet all at once and the nausea and generally feeling unwell from my pregnancy really helped not want to take it. After about a week or so, the withdrawl stopped. Im more worried now about if i have another migraine but i’ve had no cravings and no migraines since so all looking good.

are you still off it @Lexiflan ? How are you feeling ??

are you still taking it @Teasie123 or have you managed to come off? i want to come off now but the thought of withdrawal kills me.

Hi @hairsprayinthesink yes i am still off it. Honestly haven’t craved it or thought about it at all. I think once i went through the worst of the withdrawl the idea of having the go through all that again is enough to put me off taking it again. The only concern i have is if i have another migraine and need to take some pain relief.

That's brilliant @Lexiflan i am very pleased for you. I am going to start weaning this week, I've done it before and got down really low but messed up. Can't wait to be in the place you're in now.

@hairsprayinthesink i know its a frightening thought to go through the withdrawal but it lasted 5 days here or there and i felt fine in the day it was just when i went to bed i felt agitated and had restless leg syndrome. It was so worth it and you’ll thank yourself if you do it. Let me know how you go, im always here to chat to if you need any support x

Thanks @Lexiflan I think I take a fair bit more than you so I expect withdrawal will be harder but I am going to try wean as low as poss for now and see how I go on. I can't live like this anymore!! X

I took 8 a day max but id definitely just slowly lower the amount you have in a day gradually until you’re down to having 2 at the end of the day then hopefully it won’t be so bad for you as your body will have slowly gotten used to less. Just take each day as it comes. Small wins are still a win. Keep me updated x

@hairsprayinthesink , yes I'm still taking it

Hi h@hairsprayinthesink how are you getting on?