I have been addicted to codeine for about 7 years. It started because I have been getting headaches/migraines for as long as I can remember and my doctor back then told me to take them when the headaches were at their worst. I knew how powerful they were because I would take them for menstrual cramps. About 6 years ago I made some big life changes, including moving to a high stress job which increased the headaches and all lead to a period of quite severe depression. I got to a stage where I was taking 8 ibuprofen/codeine tablets before I got to work in the morning because of how much calmer I felt. I would then take more through the day. At my worst I was taking between 12-18 tablets a day.
I then entered a new relationship and changed jobs about a year later and my life was in a happier place. I had a major car accident around that time (no fault on my part) and was lucky to avoid serious physical injury, but I was left with PTSD so started seeing a therapist. I admitted my addiction to him and he suggested I gradually start reducing the amount of pills I was taking. My initial success was pretty good, and I was able to reduce quite quickly without issue. However for the last 18 months I seem to have got stuck on the current level. I currently take 4 ibu/codeine tablets per day. Sometimes I feel like they give me that "buzz" and sometimes I feel totally normal.
I want to try and conceive and I know I need to be totally off them so have again tried to reduce with a view to completely stopping, so this week I have only taken 2 pills per day. I am moody, feel unhappy, restless, so tired and worst of all have a god almighty headache. I know these are all withdrawal symptoms and I need to ride them out but the headaches are just unbearable. They take me back to the misery I felt when I first started having headaches and I worry how I'm going to cope with my headaches when I am not using codeine at all.
I'm quite good at controlling my intake in a sense that if I have a bad day where I end up taking more than normal to control actual pain, that doesn't carry over into the following days - I just return to my normal level. I also have easy access to tramadol (in fact, I have some on me pretty much all the time for my husband) yet I never feel the urge to take one. So I don't understand why shifting this last amount seems so difficult.
Can anyone share any tips that might help?