How do people accept drug use?

[sooziecue]

So yesterday, I accidentally came across cocaine in my adult DC's bag (whilst looking for some medication that we both use regularly and I had run out of)

This kid of mine has never been a moment's trouble her whole life. Always done brilliantly in school, been an absolute pleasure to bring up and is doing really well in life (has moved out and was just here overnight)

To say I was shocked is an understatement. I have no idea how often she does it, whether it's occasional or a regular habit. I know she's doing well and working hard, so not struggling to function or anything.

I just don't know what to do, I'm so worried. I don't know if I should discuss it with her, or mind my own business. I don't have any right to tell her how to live her life, she's an intelligent adult, I presume she knows the dangers. I just don't know which way to turn, and I have other stresses to cope with at the moment as well.

I don't need to hear any horror stories, I've read enough online and I'm barely sleeping as it is (it sounds dramatic but I feel like I'll never rest again right now, wondering what she's up to)

Should I bring it up with her? Is it possible for me to just accept that it's up to her how she lives her life and to come to terms with it?

If you haven’t discussed it with her how do you know it’s cocaine?

I have a DC that smokes pot -I’m not happy about it at all but I can’t stop them so I have accepted there is not a lot I can do about it.

If it’s worrying you a lot perhaps you should mention it. If you do, do your best to listen to what she has to say about it. It might help talking about it. But if you do discuss it you have to prepare for the eventuality that she might not stop at this time. I’m sure she will phase it out at some point. It’s normal to worry about her so I understand you’re in a difficult situation.

I think you do need to discuss it with her.

I knew my DC occasionally smoked dope but then I overheard a conversation she was having with a friend about ecstacy. I think I had definitely been niave thinking she had not tried drugs when so many young people use them.

I'm not happy about it, the dope I can tolerate but I'm worried about anything stronger. I just keep my eye out to look for any worrying signs and let her make her own choices.

The conversation with my DD about drugs basically consisted of her telling me she would do what she wanted but I was glad I had that conversation anyway.

God I would definitely feel your pain in that situation if it was one of my lot. I’d be horrified.

I will say that almost all of my DHs mates from home were big into taking various drugs when we met and they have all survived the horrors stories completely unscathed but I always had and would still have serious ethical concerns about the effects of the global drug trade that meant I was never remotely a fan of that particular behaviour from them even though they were woke before being woke was a thing and were generally pretty conscientious people. But it wasn’t me doing it and it is not my place to determine the ethics for others and yes as you say I made my peace with it at the time.

@Muttly

God I would definitely feel your pain in that situation if it was one of my lot. I’d be horrified.

I will say that almost all of my DHs mates from home were big into taking various drugs when we met and they have all survived the horrors stories completely unscathed but I always had and would still have serious ethical concerns about the effects of the global drug trade that meant I was never remotely a fan of that particular behaviour from them even though they were woke before being woke was a thing and were generally pretty conscientious people. But it wasn’t me doing it and it is not my place to determine the ethics for others and yes as you say I made my peace with it at the time.

Do you know what, that is one of the things that I would expect her to think about, she is one of the most socially conscious people I know!

To PP asking how I know it's cocaine, well it was a tiny snap seal bag of white powder residue, and she went to an all night club last week (and I did wonder how she stayed awake all night!) I guess it could be amphetamine, but it makes no odds to me either way.

Could be speed?

It could be coke, MDMA, speed

What is your specific concern/objection?
The general morality of drugs or the ‘slippery slope’ concerns?

@SW1amp

It could be coke, MDMA, speed

What is your specific concern/objection?
The general morality of drugs or the ‘slippery slope’ concerns?

A bit of everything really. The general morality, the fact that she could have a bad reaction, get caught for possession, develop a habit/addiction and ruin her life (she has worked incredibly hard to get where she is now)

Ketamine is much more common with that age group. It might not be cocaine.
NB I took a lot of 'party' drugs in my 20s. Genuinely didn't do me any harm and I've had a pretty successful career/life, as have vast majority of my friends. It's really not the end of the world.

I feel your pain. I'm going through something very similar myself. Please discuss this with your DD in a non confrontation way, letting her know that you love her, you're not judging, but just concerned and you would appreciate honesty. I'm afraid it may not make you feel much better but at least you will know the extent of the problem - if there is one. Don't assume the worst, from my understanding Cocaine is the recreational drug of choice and she's absolutely not necessarily a regular user. You would know if she was. Believe me. My DS changed completely. No interest in his appearance, out every night, changed character etc. I wish you all the best x

I would definitely talk to her. You are also absolutely right that it could ruin her life.