Not leaving an alcoholic

[ToyCar1234]

My partner is a binge drinker. He drinks almost nothing at home and goes weeks and months without drinking to excess. But whenever he goes out with his friends he gets so drunk he doesn’t come home until the next morning. Right now i don’t know where he is.

Do I have to leave? He is brilliant in other ways. Very loving, supportive. We have a great life most of the time. But these times really bring me to my knees. I don’t know where he is, who with. I have to look after DC the next day and go to work without having slept more than a couple of hours. I get so anxious and feel so hurt.

I’d love to hear your experiences. I’m open to (kind) advice.

If they bring you to your knees as an adult then how will your kids cope?
Yes. Leave.

You've got children to think about. Don't inflict this on them.

You don't 'have to' to leave. But you do 'have to' protect your children and your mental health.

Having lived with an alcoholic, I can tell you that it doesn't get better IME.

Consider this - if his actions brings an adult to their knees, what is it doing to your children? What would you say to your DC if they came to one day and told you that their partner did this?

Hi Op I posted something similar in the alcohol support forum just recently. My husband has had that epiphany moment and has spoken to a couple of helplines in the last couple of days. He has acknowledged he is a stage one alcoholic, that he has a problem with alcohol and he wants to resolve it. I’m sure many will be quick to say that I am being naive over optimistic et cetera but I feel positive that he has had a wake up call. The helplines that he spoke to said acknowledgement of the issue is a massive step and the desire to fix it is half the battle. I think it is me who has the issue with the idea of him being an ‘alcoholic’ As opposed to someone who has an issue with alcohol now and again. But I totally get you, the worry the anger et cetera when it happens. My husband has done this for years on refection but because there can be months between the incidences they get forgotten and you move in….when we were younger it was less of an issue, I’d be angry but I wasn’t left holding the fort at home (pre kids) and his work environment was a very social/drinking orientated one so it seemed more acceptable? Now he scared/upset our child and she saw him when he was very drunk. I videoed him and he was horrified. Only time will tell but I am not prepared to give up on him yet.