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Drug addiction denial?

6 replies

BouncyDaisy · 14/07/2021 11:38

My brother is a drug addict. A few yesrs agos some signs pointed to drug use with him. His life went downhill from 2019 and a lot of it was due to drugs. For example he would go out at the weekend and eventually come back. His hangovers were not normal hangover and they were more of a crash in the bed for a few days 2/3/4 days. I reckon his girlfriend felt ignored and she probably was ignored many times. Their relationship failed. He kept missing days in work most weeks. He had a Monday to Friday job but after many weekends he wasn't able for Monday and Tuesday work and sometimes even Wednesday work. He lost that job too.

I remember an episode last yesr where he started drinking at home on Thursday evening. He stayed up all night and he was hyper. He showed some weird behaviours on the Friday. I had to go to work but I saw some of it. My mother's heart was broken. He ran around the house in his jocks. There was another episode where he threw cash through our mother's bedroom door. He was hallucinating and turned on our mother for locking him out but she never locked him out (she should have though). There was a range of weird behaviours. He eventually went to bed on Friday night and there he stayed for a week. He avoided the family during his come down from drugs. He often does that.

I have no doubt in my mind that spell and other spells were fuelled by drugs. The signs point to speed and mephedrone drugs and cannabis outside of the harder drugs. The man is an addict.

I'm writing here today because there's another new spell. He was drinking on Sunday evening and Sunday night. It was at home drinking. He didn't go out with uis friends. I was at work so I didn't see his state. He spent the past two days in bed and he's still in bed.

My mother is adamant the drinks he had on Sunday didn't agree with him and that's the reason he's in bed. My mother is completely in denial about this. This isn't the first episode from my brother and past episodes from him were fuelled by drugs. I have no doubt in my mind he was taking drugs at home on Sunday night.

After all these years and all the shit my brother threw at us with his drunk/drug fuelled episodes and crashes lasting days, she is still in denial.

This is more of a vent or a rant. Has anyone else dealt with denial?

OP posts:
Andante57 · 14/07/2021 21:11

I am sorry you and your family are going through this.
Yes, denial is part of the family illness.
Can you and your mother go to an al Anon meeting? You will find help and support there.

BouncyDaisy · 15/07/2021 09:53

Yeah I'm going to look up supports for drug addictions and look for an Al anon type of meetings. I will see what's available in my area. My back is to the wall for the next few more weeks with an intense work schedule but hopefully it will be easing from September. So I will aim for then. I will go first and then I will tell mother about it and see if she would be interested in coming.

My brother had an appointment yesterday and he made it home for about 3.30pm. He went to bed and there he stayed for the remainder of the day. My mother was first to bed at about 10.30. I went to bed at 11.30 and within a few minutes of me closing my bedroom door for that night, I hesrd him get up. What's all of that avoiding about?

OP posts:
BouncyDaisy · 15/07/2021 09:57

This crashing in the bed for days has happened with him so many times and my mother has always put it down to 'a bad drink', 'the alcohol didn't agree with him' etc. Its not alcohol. Its drugs with him.
If the alcohol is so bad surely that would mean the man's liver is fucked and he needs medical help. He won't even go to the doctor.

OP posts:
Andante57 · 15/07/2021 14:36

Op this sounds like the typical behaviour of an addict.
Unfortunately nothing can be done unless he wants to stop.
Is there no way you and your mother can go to a support group before September?

BouncyDaisy · 15/07/2021 18:40

I will look into the addiction supports in my area and I will see what I can do to fit something in. My back is well and truly to the wall though.

OP posts:
serene12 · 16/07/2021 19:31

I get support from www.familiesanonymous.org.uk. They are offer support for the families/friends of somebody who has a suspected drug problem. The website has details re. helpline, forum, literature etc. There are UK wide meetings, some are via Zoom and you can join by phoning Families Anonymous for joining instructions. Also, some meetings have started back up ‘face to face’.
I do hope that you find support for yourself, as addiction is very much a family disease.

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