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Friends drug use

2 replies

Anonanon1234 · 14/06/2021 10:54

Name changed as possibly outing.

I am really good friends with A, really close. My husband is close to A's husband, we'll call him B. We all used to socialise together, family days out, holidays etc.

My husband once confided in me that B 'used' to have a drug problem - a long way back, in his past, but maintained it was a past thing and I believed it was. B's wife [my friend] is obviously aware of her husbands history.

As the years have passed, stuff has come to light about B taking occasional lines of cocaine in recent years [on nights out] but it was nothing to do with us so we kept out of it. Cracks started to show within the friendship group and then lockdown kept us all from socialising anyway. Myself, A and my Husband are anti-drugs.

As far as A is aware, B hasn't dabbled with cocaine in a couple of years, after it caused a fallout between them.

Now, the dilemma is that I have been told by my husband that on a recent lads night in [very recent, think days ago, not months] that B took cocaine.
They were watching football and having a few tins at another friends bachelor pad - nothing that warranted needing cocaine. B and another distant friend were apparently desperate for it and arranged to get some.
My Husband wanted no part in this so he left them to it and literally got a bus home, but the fact he has told me has put me in a predicament.

I can't tell A because it would cause total carnage between my husband and B.
I'm pretty sure 'A' would think my husband is the bad guy (I think it'd be a case of shoot the messenger) for stirring the pot, if either of us told her.

I can't tell B because he trusts that my husband won't have told me and I don't want to put my husband in an awkward position by disclosing that I know.

My concern is that B has an issue with drugs. Given his history and that usage seems to be stepping up, I can't help but feel concern for him.

At the moment, I am just watching from the sidelines and praying B doesn't end up addicted again and wrecking his life...but I am also pissed he is acting so selfishly behind my lovely friends back.

Am I being OTT?

I know I need to keep my mouth shut, I just needed to get it off my chest somewhere as I hate knowing this dirty secret. [I also told Husband that he is not to tell me anymore in the future, as puts me in an awkward situation and I'd rather not know]

Husband hasn't broached it with him atall since the event, literally acted like it didn't happen, which I know is his choice...but I feel almost like my Husband has told me, to get it off HIS chest, which has just transferred the burden of truth to me instead.

Gah!!!

OP posts:
Ivy48 · 14/06/2021 10:59

If it was me I’d like to know given B’s history. But you’d have to be very careful how you word it, perhaps ask her for a quiet word but don’t leave it days before you see her or she might stew over it. If you tell her then you aren’t aiding his drug use. I’d be concerned if a simple football match at home cause him to be ‘desperate for it’.

IronNeonClasp · 16/06/2021 10:31

It really is none of your business unfortunately. Cocaine is highly addictive and if he has a serious issue the problem will manifest itself in time...

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