Hi.
I applied for a court order a few weeks ago to determine when me and my ex would have our child. I am still awaiting to hear from CAFCASS. In the order I stated that I would just like to change the days my ex partner has our son because it would benefit our son a lot better when he starts first school. My ex partner disagreed which is why it is going to court because mediation didn’t work and he also refused to co-parent. On my application I have had to include when he beat me up and put me in hospital, smashed my head on a wall and bottled me in a club (all occasions our child wasn’t around) I also included that he has past history with cannabis and cocaine although it is mainly cannabis which he has already admitted to a social worker (the social worker is no involvement with me) that he smokes cannabis which led to the social worker having no concerns. It got brought to my attention that he was having cannabis delivered to his door meaning it would be in his house whilst my child was there and his friends were going over to his town whilst he had my child which gave me assumptions. I have no evidence.
Anyway he has seen what I have put on the c100 and he does tit for tat. I am very anti-drugs although in a minute I am going to sound like a hypocrite I know. Last weekend I was with a friend who took us to a friends he knew for some drinks (I am aware it’s still lockdown this is the first time I’ve done anything like this since March 2020) and I didn’t want people drinking in my house especially someone I didn’t know. Anyway as the night progressed I got drunk and my friends friend offered me drugs to which I said no and I was getting called boring. As the night went on I was very drunk which is shocking for me as I am always in control of what I drink due to incidents in the past. Anyway long story short I ended up taking some of the drugs, I can’t remember how many times but I do remember my friend telling me to carry on and I said no. The next morning and ever since I have felt disgusted with myself, I have been awake all night crying and not been able to sleep. I’m a brilliant mother and my child adores me loads. I always put him first always. I have never been in trouble with the police or anything or have a past record with drugs at all. I feel dirty and sick. I’m aware that because of what I said about my ex partner drug testing my be involved and if it’s a hair strand test I may fail the test because of this stupid incident. I have spoke to Samaritans because of sick it’s making me feel and I’m due to speak to my doctor today. When CAFCASS do call me, should I tell them about this incident? Will the court take my child away because of this stupid mistake? My child wasn’t around when this happened and didn’t come back in to my care until over 24 hours later. He is always safe with me and I do everything I can to protect him.