I have had a toxic relationship with food for too long but just don't know how to fix it :(

[Mindfullness]

I have mental health problems and have used food for too long as comfort. I have put on so much weight on and no longer how much I eat it's never enough. Dieting doesn't work as it's not getting to the root of the problem. Does anyone have any advice, methods or books I can read to help? Thank you

@Mindfullness

I have mental health problems and have used food for too long as comfort. I have put on so much weight on and no longer how much I eat it's never enough. Dieting doesn't work as it's not getting to the root of the problem. Does anyone have any advice, methods or books I can read to help? Thank you

*matter not longer

Hi there
I feel very similar. I'm the biggest I've ever been and my health and self esteem are suffering. I would be very interested to hear any advice

"Brain over binge" by Kathryn Hansen is a book and a podcast. I cane across it about 4 years ago and it literally changed my life. I feel free and my relationship to food is a world away from what it was.

As you say, dieting is definitely not the answer. Quite the opposite. I now realise how damaging diet culture was to me for so many years.

I wish you all the best

I think Gillian Riley is pretty good with food addiction issues. She's got several books and also does an online seminar and 1:1s via Skype.

Is it a problem with food in general or with carbs specifically?

I thought I had a problem with overeating but I started to work with a coach and she showed me that actually I’m addicted to carbs. When I overate it wasn’t on steak or chicken, it was carbs. She had me go carnivore and I haven’t looked back. I don’t obsess over food, I don’t binge eat, I don’t overeat any more and my weight is healthy and stable. I’ve never been better.

Can you access counseling in some form? Addressing the reasons behind the comfort eating will help immensely. Once you can start having other coping mechanisms in place, you can tackle your weight issue.

Thank you everyone for your replies, it"s good to know I am not alone. I am veggie so unfortunately meat is a no no :(
I will have a look at the links you have provided, they are very helpful.
I am also having some health issues, mainly joint pain so am in a vicious cycle as not able to exercise, putting more weight on and the weight exacerbates the joints :(

Following

I should have written your post but haven't been brave enough too.

Similar to @longpausenoanswer

I am totally in agreement that the diet culture is damaging and not helpful

I too find that carbs are the key for me. I sort of wish I didn’t have to be so strict about it and I’ve by no means cracked it, and still consume more calories than I need. BUT after initial weight loss, I’m focusing on the fact that I’m just out of the obesity range (into overweight) and crucially my mental health is better as I am not binging regularly anymore.

Sorry that was long but basically- changing to a low carb high fat diet has enabled me to stop binging and be more in control of food.

It’s like it’s lost it’s power over me.

I’m not a skinny minny but am ok with that if I don’t have that awful feeling that my weight is going up and up

Do you eat big meals or snacks or both?

I think you need to try to address the root of your unhappiness; counselling would help but I know it's expensive and hard to get on the NHS. Do you have a close friend, a good listener, who you could talk it all out with on a regular basis? It probably stems from your childhood and you need to confront this first.

You could try a 12 step eating programme eg OA (Overeaters Anonymous, though it deals with all eating disorders). It is the exact same model as AA but for food. Most meetings (globally!) are on zoom so you could join some meetings to see if it's for you. Though you will definitely identify with what you hear there ie the wretched misery of disordered eating.

I have been going to OA for about 5 years and I have experienced abstinence - or serenity as they call it (and it really is serene to no longer be caught by the throat by food! Not just the eating but the constant thinking about it, the mental obsession - urgh. It really is bliss to be free of that).

OA is a 12 step programme and is essentially a spiritual (NOT religious) programme. It does it for me. But I've also been going to SMART Recovery meetings that have more of a practical approach. I'm really enjoying it.

OA is also very practical too btw.

Am reading AC;The Power of Appetite Control by Bert Herring - it makes sense and am having some success although just started trying the ideas out.

@Mindfullness how are you doing?

foodaddicts.org is the only thing that has given me abstinence and peace. I was 15st when I went in. I’m 11st four months later. But more than that- I’ve gained peace and self confidence and a world wide network of friends. It takes work but it’s nothing like as hard as being addicted and smearing uncontrollably