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I think my son is using something

10 replies

Lookingforhelpplease · 12/09/2020 15:36

My 17 year old works full time, is on more than minimum wage and brings home a decent amount of money for his age. When he started working last year he was putting half his wage into a savings account towards a car. Over the last few months the balance has gone down to almost nothing. He gets paid weekly and since Thursday has spent at least £150 on "nothing."

Last Saturday night he came home and was barely able to stand. His lips were stained a dark blue and Sunday he couldn't get out of bed. Said he'd been drinking with his girlfriend. He went out again last night and seemed completely out of it when he came home and, again, he's in a state today.

He's very secretive, vague about where he's been when asked and if we give him a lift or collect him it's never to or from someone's house, just the end of a road etc. and mostly in a not so nice part of our small town. We don't like his friends. Last Sunday when he was getting over whatever he'd drunk or taken the night before his phone was off. His "friends" rang my other son and accused the oldest of stealing a phone and if he didn't answer his phone they'd come to the house to sort him out. They've apparently apologised since then and he's back hanging around with them.

He has next to nothing to show for his money. He did start buying clothes regularly but hasn't for a good few months now. My husband is at the end of his tether with him and threatening to throw him out if he doesn't change his behaviour.

Does this sound like he's taking drugs? Is there a drug that leaves a blue stain in the mouth and lips? I don't want to talk about this with friends or family so any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
Fallowdeerhunter · 12/09/2020 17:22

Blue Valium seems to come up with a Google

Okayokayok · 14/09/2020 22:03

I havent heard of a drug that stains the lips blue, does he drink blue wkd maybe? But his behaviour and money issues definitely point towards him doing something he shouldn't be. I'd say drugs is very likely. Hope things are okay OP.

Hickorydickoryspock · 14/09/2020 22:12

I'd say it sounds more like an alcohol problem than drugs? Possibly weed... but most drugs he wouldnt be coming home at the end of the night you wouldn't see him for days at a time. He wouldnt be getting over it the next morning he just wouldnt be back in the night at all. The lips stained blue sounds like booze. Just sounds like he is binge drinking.
17 is very young im not sure id be asking him to leave just because he seems a bit aimless... not sure quite what advice to give you other than perhaps just keep trying to talk to him in a non hostile way and get it across that you are worried about him.

Okayokayok · 14/09/2020 22:24

but most drugs he wouldnt be coming home at the end of the night you wouldn't see him for days at a timebut most drugs he wouldnt be coming home at the end of the night you wouldn't see him for days at a time

Good point.

Fallowdeerhunter · 15/09/2020 10:38

Why would you not see him for days at a time?! Plenty of people take drugs recreationally and don’t disappear for days. What an odd thing to surmise.

Anyway, as above - blue Valium stains the lips and sounds like the culprit

mummyjanet1 · 29/03/2021 20:41

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StaceyLovesDave88 · 10/06/2021 18:03

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Suburbanqueen · 03/10/2021 14:55

I was where you are 10 years ago and I didn't see it. My son is now 27, still living with me and still taking drugs. He barely holds down a job and has spent every penny he has ever had. I cry every day but he is suicidal. The weed has damaged his mental health and I still don't know what to do. If I throw him out he will end up on the streets and probably kill himself.

Anordinarymum · 03/10/2021 15:01

@Suburbanqueen

I was where you are 10 years ago and I didn't see it. My son is now 27, still living with me and still taking drugs. He barely holds down a job and has spent every penny he has ever had. I cry every day but he is suicidal. The weed has damaged his mental health and I still don't know what to do. If I throw him out he will end up on the streets and probably kill himself.
No he won't. Throw him out because you are not helping either him or yourself. He will be fine. He needs to be at rock bottom and you providing a home etc etc is only delaying that from happening.
Suburbanqueen · 03/10/2021 19:50

I try to pluck up courage to do that every day. Some day I will.

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