Surfettes reunion?

[Bellybounce]

A while back there were a group of surfettes, who supported each other, were honest, and most importantly, bloody hilarious.

I have read the threads through (yes all of them) TWICE over the last few months, and found them to be really helpful and reassuring.

So where did the gang go?
Lost? Serial? Got? Pickle?

I know many ended up turning their lives around, flat, snowball, and others. (You guys are the lifeguards now, and I’d love to hear how your doing).

So if you remember this crew of wayward surfers, dressed in pyjamas, with snorkels, swaying around on a slippery surf board, or you were one of these amazing people, please pop in and leave a message.

How are you all doing these days?

Belly xxx

There were so many other amazing people please don’t be offended if I didn’t list you! But you will not have been forgotten x

Oh my goodness, I am smiling ear to ear reading this!! Thanks so much for trying to organise a reunion Belly. I check in on the addiction board every couple of weeks looking out for surfers that have gone overboard and might need a helping hand....like you I would absolutely LOVE to know how everyone is....

I have been clean and sober for three years now (with three minor slips, the last one being 18 months ago). It was by no means easy and there is no way I could have ever done it without a group of people around me. The surfers were my first support group and I will always be grateful for their honesty and humour in those dark days of becoming aware of the strength of my addiction. In the end what worked for me was: a month away staying with my mum in portugal (going cold turkey on access to anything). I then came back to the uk and went straight to rehab for 6 weeks and after that entered and worked a 12 step programme.

My life is unrecognisable now. Before recovery everything was a fucking mess, my head, my marriage, my house and my relationship with my kids....

All of that has now changed, after getting clean and sober my husband and I went into couples counselling, he then went into recovery shortly after, together we cleaned up the mess of our home both literally and metaphorically my children no longer have endless duvet days at the weekend. We actually take them places and DO THINGS... family Friday nights are now officially movie night and the closest I come to a stimulant is one too many Haribos.....

I would have balked at all this wholesomeness previously, dismissed it as boring And for boring people, but my life in addiction by the end was far from exciting and rockin roll... It had become an endless cycle of ups and downs, with the downs hugely outweighing any up.

If anyone is reading this that feels ready to stop using and/or drinking the single most helpful thing I can suggest is to reach and connect to someone and tell the full truth of what's going on for you..

Hey Belly! I was one of the surfers, a bit of a late comer and didn't contribute too much but definitely there and hugely enjoyed the banter that went on even though it's a taboo subject for many. It really helped to share with people in the same boat ( see what I did there ) and not be judged.

I was just thinking back fondly on all those conversations and came on here to have a quick look at there you were!

I'm in a much better place now, I've been seeing Mr Rehab who I talked about back then for the last 2 years. We still dabble but no where near as bad as I was and do lots of normal stuff now like days out not just getting wasted in the kitchen and feeling utterly crap the next day. Should really knock it on the head completely at my age but still like the feel of naughtiness sometimes.

Whiteflat Well bloody done for sorting your life out so well, that's fantastic! I know what you mean.. you get so much more satisfaction from doing nice normal things rather than the merry go round of the horrors.

Would love to hear how the others are doing too. If any of you are reading this sending much love and hope you are all doing ok xxx

I have just spent the last hour scrolling through old posts to find the one about Serials oven dish then remembered it was deleted - very funny from what I remember

I loved these threads! They made me feel less alone. I'm working a lot more now but MrD is not, and as he's poor it's a rare treat nowadays.
I mainly lurked and stayed in the shallow end - but I did organise the coach trip!
Just remembered ponzu and her shoe...

Hoochi and dusty!!! Amazing!! I definitely remember you ....glad you are both on a more even keel now...serials oven dish yes!!! Has totally forgotten about that, and the coach trip to Colombia.....ha ha!!!

OMG I stopped checking the thread and... well what an amazing surprise! So happy to see you all!

@whiteflat48 so glad your doing well and I am definitely not bawking at the wholesomeness haha! It’s something to aspire to. Honestly can’t tell you how happy I am to see you here, and doing so well! Three years is AMAZING!!

@HoochiMama I instantly realised I had left you out; and @DustyDuck! You girls are who I meant I’d left out, sorry xx
How are things with mr rehab? Thats what I can’t manage; dabbling but being good. I don’t seem to have any strength and just do a triple flip dive into the sea and wave goodbye to the surfboard!

And dusty sorry to hear your poor atm! That shit sucks! But is a very useful tool for staying on board xx
Eeeek ! Sorry i took so long to come back!
So happy to ‘see’ you all xx

I’ve managed not to go overboard in a while now, but following a recent french episode I made a right tit of myself after too much gin, I’m now avoiding alcohol too... it makes the board harder to stay on, that’s the latest challenge I have set for myself anyway.

We will see how that pans out!

Well done Belly!! Giving up the booze is a great start...let us know how you get on. Happy to help act as a cheerleader on the beach as you surf the waves..

Thank you @whiteflat48 (not sure how to make that look tidy without the @ sign?)
Mumsnet rookie alert! 😆 Well... posting anyway.
I’d you don’t mind me asking, do you find you still drink often? I guess for many it goes hand in hand and one often leads to the other... I believe that phenomenon was called ‘the fuck it switch’ on previous threads....

I guess it’ll be a real test when I am in a situation that I would usually drink... not sure why but a couple drinks in and I’m some irritating giggly / slightly arrogant teenager again!
I’m done waking up and cringing at the things I’ve said and it doesn’t even take much these days. A couple of glasses of wine can mean the terrors all night!

Oh and are serial and lost still around? Could have sworn I saw serial on another thread recently...

Hi Belly, just seen your message...I don't drink at all anymore, as it definitely went hand in hand. I struggled to define myself as an alcoholic for a very long time. But eventually came to the realisation that I was addicted to the combination of alcohol and cocaine. (Coco ethylene) and sober from that view point definitely had to give up booze as well as coke...I had to remove myself from all triggers for quite a long time...so no booze in the house and I avoided nights out too...if I had to go to a social event then I made sure I had a nice non alcoholic drink in my hand and didn't stay too long..

Would love to know how serial and lost are too..??

Me too white I was mainly a lurker on the threads, only posted a couple of times. And although I have slowed down I'm nowhere near giving up unfortunately

Hi Button welcome back! Great you have managed to at least slow down...

Well Hello how lovely to see a little reunion. Sorry I'm late to the party, very unlike me isn't it?

Button and Belly welcome to surfing, I hear you sisters.

I'm pleased to hear how some of my lovely surfing friends have fared. Flat always in awe of how you turned things around, you're brilliant. I think I might love you a little bit.

I love how honest everyone was on our threads and we did have some really funny times. I still laugh to myself remembering Serial's thread when she went to borrow an oven dish and walked into a full on coke party. It all went overboard in classic surfer style. I think we all recognised how poor old Serial felt.. the regret, the self loathing afterwards!
Unfortunately I stopped the threads because I wasn't making any progress with conquering my addiction and felt a bit of a fraud trying to help others. I hope anyone didn't think I was rude, I regarded you all as friends, we just "got" each other eh?

I'm still a coke head "functioning addict" is probably the right term. I'd say holding it together but Losing It on a regular basis. Not proud of it at all but there it is. The National Lockdown was a full on coke marathon for me and Mr Lost. We've pulled it back a bit now "normal" routine has resumed and our finances are in tatters quite frankly.

Wishing you all well

Footnote: I'll be booking our annual coach trip to Columbia for sometime next year. Just waiting for the pandemic to ease up. Hooch you're on admin I'm afraid because I'm busy sorting out a playlist for our journey. Start bracing yourselves and planning your outfits ladies.

Lost!!!!!!!! So so pleased we found you, you were the glue that kept us together. This reunion wouldn't be the same without you...glad you are holding it together!! I honestly know I wouldn't be here to write this unless I had stopped. An overdose or my mental health would have taken me out...now we need to find seriel!!

Big wave to flat I sometimes see you on here using your experience to help others. Always understanding and non judgemental and I think Damn she's good!

It's embarrassing not to have a success story of my own but the surfers did help. I had an email from MNHQ warning me not to glamorise cocaine in our threads. I do use humour to lighten things (probably too much) but glamorous it ain't. Addiction has taken me to some dark places I wouldn't wish on anyone.

On a plus note my lockdown fiasco has inspired me to write a new chapter for "How to kick coke, an idiot's guide"
Chapter 12: Why panicking during a lockdown about supplies and stockpiling a large amount to eke out over six months is never a good idea.

Serial posted a while ago now and she was in a good place having sought help from her gp. Go Serial if you're bobbing about somewhere. She hadn't lost her brilliant deadpan humour.

I'm still looking out for your book flat . You could give our lovely Russell Brand a run for his money. He hasn't confirmed his place on our covid restricted coach trip yet, admitting he has "some trepidation".

Surf on, people xx

Lost!!! It’s so good to see you on here! I almost gave up and thought that the surf had died down!

I can imagine stockpiling could be a bad idea; like ponzu with the shoe, if it’s there it will soon be gone! How long did your 6 month supply actually last? One REALLY wild weekend? (And a week of the horrors?)

I sent the threads to a friend of mine and we have managed 10 weeks now together, spurring each other on.

After my embarrassing drunken birthday Fiasco I tried to quit alcohol but well.... that didn’t happen!

Took a lot but we deleted all numbers after finishing the threads, and it really helped. Now after a drink it’s not an option... and as time goes by my brain is less automatically in the danger zone.

Really really glad your here lost and white flat, and the others- feels like a real reunion! 🏄‍♀️
Surf on girls!! Xx

A bronze surfing medal is on it's way to you Belly it'd be great if anyone carried on a support thread for surfers. I'm not quite in the best place to advise anyone but I'd love to hear how you're getting on.

I won't bore you with my lockdown debacle but I can now add "pandemic" to my 20 page booklet list of triggers ..

If I realised anything from our threads it's that I'm not a party girl or someone who dabbles. I'm an addict and will lie to myself. I'll tell myself every excuse in the book to get high. I haven't progressed much further than that realisation but it's a start and I am able to abstain for short periods.

Wishing you strength, keep at it, never go out too far to sea because it's hard to come back.. (deep, man)

Belly!! Ten weeks is incredible!!! They were the hardest for me for sure.....and yes your brain does literally get rewired.....it's good you are doing it with a friend too...I did the first few months with a bunch women all spurring each other on, getting early nights, eating copious amounts of chocolate and binge watching everything on Netflix..

Lost I am sorry the bastard coke hasn't fucked off for you yet!! Good you can abstain for periods of time. As always I am here if you ever fancy PMing me for my top tips!!

Thank you , thank you! graciously accepts medal, starts to thank mum and dad, but instantly remembers they must never ever know haha!

I feel a bit of a fraud- as it was fairly occasional for me, although had no control once started, i am not around it too much.. Where as my friend had a much harder battle, as it was her husband too, but I shit you not - she read some of these threads to him and it really helped them along the way.

So really there’s 3 of us all surfing! I guess that makes me the third board, instead of the third wheel haha!
White - that sounds like a good group of women to have around you! There’s nothing like the power in numbers... I guess it’s just making sure those numbers are made up of people who aren’t trying to tempt you off the surf board! Haha.

Lost- no shame here - and I’m sorry too that it hasn’t been easier for you. You deserve to feel wonderful, you’ve actually helped more people than you realised. We honestly often refer to the thread, your humour and honesty. Your bloody hilarious! Xxx

Wow thanks Belly for the feedback, that's amazing that you feel the thread helped you and your friend and her husband. I agree that lost's humour and kindness were an exceptional influence in keeping the thread focused yet light hearted...

Please don't fuel my ego guys. You know what coke heads are like, ridiculously full of themselves anyway!
Beware that little voice Belly telling you you don't really have a problem..It's just occasional that sounds like a younger a version of me. And you definitely don't want to grow up to be me.

That said you're doing really well. My advice to anyone struggling with cocaine use, is talk to someone about it, even if it's just on here. Own it.
(Just don't post in AIBU you will be shredded)

flat thanks for always reaching out to me, you're a star. Stay strong x