Boyfriend ketamine user

[Youcunnyfunt]

Hi
My boyfriend is a ketamine addict, and he relapsed severely yesterday. I think he might have mixed it with coke and beer, and possibly sleeping tablets.
I managed to get his family involved - for background, he's had problems before we met and had lived with them, he's close to them - and they took him back to theirs so I could have a break, he was really scaring him even though he's not violent, he'd got quite nasty which is very out of character.

He got in his car this morning and drove off and none of us know where he is now.

I have a house full of his things and I have no idea if he'll ever return to collect his stuff.

I don't know what to do. I've spoken to Frank and his usual AA group this morning and I decided to leave just one message on my boyfriend's phone, asking him just to let me know he's safe (no response yet, it's only been an hour or so).

It was a proper nightmare last night. Just looking for some support as I go through this. Has anyone else come out the other side of this before? What happened?

Call the police if he’s driving under the inflience

*influence

I have no idea PotteringAlong, we made sure he couldn't possibly drive last night, and I don't think he has anymore?

His parents asked me not to, because if he loses his license then he loses his job, and that will just spiral down worse and worse. They did make sure he wasn't drunk and tried to follow him this morning but IDK. We think he's stopped the car somewhere and is parked up because he seems to be on his phone (active on messenger).

I did everything last night to stop him driving, absolutely. Hid his keys and got support round, all the keys hidden.

Anyone else dealt with a missing partner? Do I report missing?

He'll do more than lose his licence if he kills someone by driving under the influence. If the police stop him and test him and he's OK, there's no problem. Personally I wouldn't want him to be driving on the same roads as my children and me, would you?

If he took that much last night there is no way he’s clean this morning. And as much as I admire your thought that your boyfriend who is off his head on ketamine and Coke and then got into the car to drive much be parked up because he’s on his phone, I’m not sure that you’ve accurately pitched his level of social responsibility.

You don’t know where he is. He’s taken she’s loads of drugs and he’s driving the car. Call the police.

I think it's too soon for an adult to be reported missing. I'd pack his stuff up and ask his parents to take it, others garage or attic?

Yeah I appreciate that, the only reason I haven't already is because of his parents. It was my first thought.

I'm calling missing people helpline for advice, I think they can help me inform the police and raise a flag. I have no idea where he would've driven so it's quite difficult to know which area police to call.

Sleepingstandingup he's at risk though, isn't he? I'm going to ask anyway. Just in case they can help. It says you can report under 24 hours because it's unlikely he'll get back in touch today. At least if he's out driving around they will know he's potentially at risk, to himself and others.

There's been alerts for missing persons raised just 2 hours after they've gone missing here recently. It depends on the circumstances, if they are vulnerable or a risk to themselves. Their frame of mind prior to going missing etc

Do you really need this in your life op? I'm sure you can do far better than having to babysit a drug addict.

His parents asked me not to, because if he loses his license then he loses his job

This is VERY dangerous OP, ignore them and call the police. What if he kills someone?

@Youcunnyfunt

Sleepingstandingup he's at risk though, isn't he? I'm going to ask anyway. Just in case they can help. It says you can report under 24 hours because it's unlikely he'll get back in touch today. At least if he's out driving around they will know he's potentially at risk, to himself and others.

Have his parents reported it? I'd pass the Bayton back to them. Even if you report it yourself, I'd make it clear his NOK is his parents and the relationship is now over

@ItsSpittingEverybodyIn

Do you really need this in your life op? I'm sure you can do far better than having to babysit a drug addict.

No one wants to be an addict.

Equally I am done with the behaviour. He needs to get help and it can't come from me.

It has escalated, he's been found and they contacted me. We've had an ambulance out to help him get the drugs out of his system.

Luckily I have a spare room, so I'm letting him stay here so he's not on the streets. He can sort out with the council in the week or go and do his own thing when he's sober.

Thanks all for messaging.

OP he won't go any where - id seriously send him back to his DP's and let them deal with him. It will happen again and doesn't slinks especially safe for you!

I think you need a plan for getting him out. The council probably won’t be able to help him so, if the relationship is over you need to be able to say that and to get him out. Hope the rest of the day goes smoothly

Thanks all. I was totally furious (still am) but of course he has put massive effort in the last two days. He’s got a chance to get clean - he’s actually speaking to sponsors and gone to his meetings. He says he’s hit his rock bottom. We’ll see! He is the sweetest person sober.

I’m glad he’s made an effort for the past 2 days. I would still make him move out though until he is clean.

It’s good that your boyfriend has got a sponser & goes to 12 Step meetings.
There is also a 12 Step group for families & friends of addicts www.familiesanonymous.org.uk, due to the current restrictions there are online meetings, a helpline etc. Families Anonymous changed my life for the better, I realised that I needed to change and to use Tough Love with my loved one. It sounds as if his parents are enabling and rescuing their adult child, which is preventing him from reaching rock bottom. An addict needs to feel the consequences of their poor choices.