Recovering heroin addict

[Gotleib]

I’m not sure how long someone is a ‘risk’ for after using heroin - how long do they have to be ‘clean’ for before you can stop being scared of them relapsing imminently?

My sister (a recovering heroin addict, I.e only just stopped using a couple of weeks ago and currently in residential rehab for the next three weeks) will be staying at my parents house. Is it safe for my children to go round to my parents’ house whilst she is there? Theoretically she will be clean and there will be no drugs/ needles etc in the house but we are a bit concerned about taking the children there. Obviously she will not be alone with them or caring for them in any way. Am I overreacting? I don’t mean to offend any recovering addicts out there, but I have limited experience with drugs/drug users and can only think of the west lost dramatic outcomes!

In truth she will always be at risk of relapse, in the first couple of years anyway but recovery is a lifelong thing.

What are your concerns exactly when it comes to your children OP? If she’s not using and there’s no drugs or drug equipment around I’m not sure what your concerns are?

I think seeing the children could be massively beneficial for her recovery. It shows what she could have, could be involved with etc

It would be a bit cruel to punish her further than what she's already been through by withholding them. Like you say if they're supervised there's no risk.

Recovery is lifelong but if she's engaged that's the main thing

Having known many, relapse can be years and years later. I also agree that seeing your DC's would probably be very helpful to her. If someone's with them the entire time, they're at no risk. It's your parents house, not a long term drug den, so there won't be dirty works shoved anywhere. It will be very apparent if she's using, you'll absolutely know.

I wouldn’t leave them alone with her but you’re not intending to so don’t ban her from being around them. It will be great for her to see them and sounds like she is doing really well at the moment! Show her you trust her and she will be more trustworthy. Obviously with a watchful eye on your children’s safety but it’s highly unlikely she’d start using again in the vicinity of your kids.

Ah it might be lovely for them to see her now she's clean. She's not being tasked with looking after them and the likelihood that there'll be needles around is low. You'll be there so be able to gauge if she's ok or not.
I hope you and the kids have a nice catch up with her and wish her all the best in her recovery

I'd see how she seems once she leaves the residential rehab.
I wouldn't blame you if you didn't feel comfortable leaving your children in the house with her. But see how she is and if you feel ok about it nearer the time.

I agree wholeheartedly with PurpleFrames

Recovering addicts need as much support as possible and i'm sure there is no risk whatsoever for your children.

Heroin addicts are always at risk of relapse, I've been clean for 10 years but desire the drug every single day. Heroin does damage to the chemicals in the brain that can cause chronic depression that can last for years, it's even harder if you have mental health problems

Always a risk of relapse and addiction - recovery is often a succession of stop and start attempts before lasting success is achieved - that's a legitimate and normal part of the process for many. It's not about willpower so much as sorta chemically retraining neural pathways. Getying our human biology to let go of such a powerfully feel good chemical can be both physically agitating & emotionally a very depressing prospect- even with supplementary medication. Be comforted ' It's definitely something which can get better, it's just important to resolve any trigger issues. The kids expisure to this will likely make them more resilient - by being able to understand these sorts of issues, how they happen what to do, what not to do etc, done right, it will be a protective factor.
Just make certain medication (or drugs & paraphernalia should she have a wobble) is completely out of kids reach and for adults sake too is unmistakable for anything else - because if anyone without a habit takes 20ml methadone instead of buttercup syrup that is dangerous - it is a very very strong medicine with a long half life circa 24hrs so keep it out of harms way.

Personally- I think as long as your sister is a kind loving and intelligent lady on the whole, then she will be an excellent person for them to spend time with. I very much doubt she'd be taking drugs in front of them even if she relapsed... i think harm comes to our children through lying, through hypocrisy, through lack of explanation- they don't follow our teaching but our parental examples.... if we handle a situation which scares or challenges us with reasonable logic and compassion, with boundaries for self preservation but not a wall then that's what they will likely be equipped with in later adult life - but if we make our excuses and fearfully attempt to sidestep difficult emotional problems then that us also how they're likely to respond should an equivalent scenario present to them at 18 or 45. I'm not saying this is what you're doing its a hypothetical scenario- clearly real life is more complex, but hopefully it is at least a contributiary effort towards answering your question 😉

Ps; Please 🙏✨️, anyone reading if you want drugs to cause less harm in society, learn about why many people with real experience of the issues are considering an end to prohibition, ask your MP to wholeheartedly consider decriminalising all drugs, tax & sell/prescribe clean pharmaceutical standard drugs via a licensed pharmacist - with education in schools and public information brochures and apps. Our children and society can become healthier, safer and through education overcome political policy being dictated via tabloid journalisms moral panics.