My 74 year old DF has over the last few years become very lonely and vulnerable. He's been separated from my DM for 12+ years and lived on his own during this time.
2 years ago, he befriended a 30 something year old "lady" from the pub. (To be clear, she's a heroin addicted prostitute with form for preying on the vulnerable and a criminal history as long as my arm).
Over the last 2 year's she's screwed him out of thousands upon thousands of pounds, used his flat as a crack den, had him driving drug dealers around, assaulted him, stolen his car multiple times, and so on. You get the picture.
He refuses to press charges as she is his 'girlfriend' / looks after him. I have taken so many tearful phone calls from him in the middle of the night, gone to his bedside at hospital, raced across town in the wee hours to be with him but he just will not cut her out of his life. The police have been brilliant and always kept me informed, although ultimately there's nothing they can do.
Earlier this year he has begun to use drugs. I know for a fact he is smoking crack, and possibly using heroin.
He has gone from 14st down to around 7st wet through.
He has medical issues anyway- diabetes and a heart complaint- so combined with this drug abuse there are a lot of concerns for his health.
I have the police and social services involved but both are tied by the fact that he has capacity and is just making poor decisions. At the moment they are just trying trying to manage the risk and keep a close eye on his mental state.
I have tried kicking her out. I have tried speaking to him. I have shouted, I have cried, I have given him an ultimatum between the drugs and his grandkids. He has chosen the drugs.
I am watching my father die before my very eyes and can do nothing about it.
It's keeping me away all night. It's consuming me. I am filled with sadness about it. I am filled with rage. I am over run with guilt because I can't stop it.
Is there somewhere I can turn for support or has anyone else had a similar experience?