AA help needed - 12 steps involve God but I'm not a believer

[IAmAnAlcoholic]

Ok, so I know this isn't the best time to post but I feel I need to get this out now or I'll wake up in the morning and bury my head in the sand like I do every day. Obviously I've name changed. And my name change reflects why I am posting.
I've known I've had a problem for a long time, years, but am now beginning to face up to it. I have been to my GP and referred for counselling. A friend who has supported me through recent hard times asked me how I was doing and I told him. Well, I couldn't actually tell him exactly. I know he has substance abuse issues in his family and he worked it out. It's out there, it's been said.
If you knew me you wouldn't know (I don't think). I'm very sociable and when I am out I drink in moderation. But then I come home and cane it. I've been out with my girlfriends tonight for cocktails, we've all come home a bit merry and they're probably asleep in bed but I'm home and starting my second bottle of wine. This can't continue. I'm killing myself.
So, I did it. I googled AA to find my nearest group and read the 12 steps to recovery - and am deflated to read that they strongly support acknowledging God. They apparently recite the Lords Prayer at meetings. I am agnostic, I do not believe in God at all. I feel like I've been walking on a broken leg for years, finally asked for help and been given a band aid.

Is there anyone here that can help me move forward with this?

I think I mean atheist not agnostic. My fuzzy mind can't figure out the difference at the moment.
My fuzzy mind scares me, especially when I am at work and can't figure out how to turn my computer on. People know, don't they?

I have 3 relatives that have done the 12 steps. My understanding is that you don't have to believe in God, AA is open to all and God is merely shorthand for whichever higher power you believe in.

As an agnostic you believe there is a higher power, you just don't know/agree that it's 'God' necessarily.

Tbh sounds like an excuse not to go.

AA Works - if you work at it.

The effort has to come from you.

My relatives, the 2 that get and accept this it's worked for, the 3rd claims it's worked but is a dry drunk.

Only you can truly decide enough is enough and start to deal with it.

Well done for being honest, not just with your friend but with yourself. I'm no expert but I have an alcoholic mother and I long for the day that she at least realises that her behaviours aren't "normal".

With regards to AA - my suggestion would be to give it a go. One of two things may happen...

1. The religious aspect gets in the way and you realise that it's not for you
2. You discover that the religious aspect is a small and part and doesn't affect your accessibility to the program.

I'd hope it's the latter. If you don't give it a go, you'll never know. What do you have to lose?

I wish you well - it may also be worth looking for other alcohol support groups in your area besides AA - Addaction is one, there will be others.

I'd wish you luck but we make our own luck. All the best

Thank you. While you've posted your message I've been back to the AA website and there isn't a group near me anyway.

It's not an excuse to not go but I can understand why you think that.

I've found an article that suggests spirituality rather than God and I can get more on board with that. I am glad to hear that there are people you know that it has worked for, that is encouraging.

Again, thank you, didn't see the second message when I posted. I'm going to look into other local support groups. My GP did mention one but I thought I would look into AA first. Because they are the one everyone knows so they must be doing something right!

My father never got past step 3 (maybe) due to submission to a higher power (?) but AA helped him stay sober a day at a time. He was dry for a good 15 years and went to AA meetings once or twice a week for the entire time of his sobriety.

Op the higher power doesn't have to be God.
Please try an AA meeting - I think you will be pleasantly surprised, we are not religious maniacs.
It works for alcoholics and it saved my life.

Thank you, this is good to hear.

If you’re totally put off by the higher power thing (I was and I didn’t like me the monologue format of meetings either) then you could take a look at Smart Recovery

Good luck and well done for admitting there’s a problem.

Hi
I’ve done my recovery through NA, but attended lots of AA meetings too.

Decent and welcoming groups should always allow you to feel you can discover your own personal faith, higher power, belief system. People who say otherwise are not worth listening to -in my opinion.

“The G Word” ever so nearly put me off attending my first NA meeting. 10 and a half years later I’m so glad I could see past it and give it a try. I had nothing more to lose anyway! I’m 10 years clean now. Recovery has saved my life. Given me a new one. It was reading your post and recognising such similarities that prompted me to reply. I could have missed out on the life I have now through fear, fear of the unknown, but fortunately I gave it a go, and I urge you to too.

My higher power is not anything to do with organised religion, and not found in a church, temple, synagogue etc but the power of nature. I feel at peace by the sea, in a forest, walking barefoot on grass etc. Sounds a bit hippyish but it works for me. And that’s the thing, it is about what works for the individual. My higher power isn’t the same as the person sat next to me, or the next person, or anyone else.

Mine is female too, I don’t have a God but a Goddess- a Mother Nature, earth mother type being that I feeel is a power bigger than me, that is nurturing and caring. It wants good things for me, especially when I am in a bad place and can’t think to chose them for myself. A bit like a big sister or wise friend that guides you when times are tough.

I wish you well.

I’ve never experienced Lord’s Prayer being said in a meeting, ever. The Serenity Prayer, yes. “Goddess, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

That’s the most prayer-y I get. Not too scary. Good luck.

Well done for asking for help. I’m in Al-Anon (the group for family/friends of alcoholics) we work on all the same principles of AA - we have steps, sponsors, etc. I’m an agnostic, I think for that reason, I do adapt to the ‘God’ side more easily than an atheist would. However, my higher power (and what I think of as God) is nature and the wider universe - it is a power far greater than myself. The when we pray, I meditate. The serenity prayer, which is a large part of both AA and Al Anon, is excellent to meditate on. There are lots of online AA groups if you don’t have a meeting nearby. You will find the kindest and most understanding people who will help to guide you. Addiction is isolating (for me, loving an addict is isolating) but in AA you will always have people to turn to who understand completely and without judgement. If you can’t find a higher power for you, put your faith in the programme, the steps and the support network you’ll have - make that your version of god, maybe?

Hi,
Firstly well done for taking the first steps to deal with the problem. I am in AA and an atheist and after my initial reservations it's really helped. AA is clear that it is not connected to any religion and although it talks about a higher power it can be anything of your choosing, for me it's the meeting and the other people in the meetings,

I hope that helps, by all means PM me if u have any other questions

Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I really do appreciate your posts and to hear that recovery is possible. I've never thought I would get to this point where I am actually reaching out for help. I am quite spiritual and should meditate more than I do so that is good to hear. It's scary but I have to take these first steps.