I'm a my of 5.. I'm also a recovering addict have been struggling with addiction since I was 15(thanks to my loving uncle) now 36 on and off for over 20yrs now.. Right now I'm off but barley staying afloat. I don't know where to turn.. I feel I'm doing a shit job with my babies.. My 8yr old has adhd asd spd and is very challenging he sends my anxiety into overdrive I feel like I'm angry all the time and my babies deserve so much better.. When I'm clean my anxiety and depression take over and affects my parenting and when I use it affects parenting I don't know what's worse though? I feel so isolated as I have cut everyone out of my life as majority of my friends use.. I just want better for my babies and I really don't think I'm that.. I'm just going through the motions with them ATM I'm here but I'm not.. Im so scared that I am fucking them up.. I want so much more for them but I really feel Im am passing my baggage on them..