So pissed off at dd's drug addiction, i am ready to turn my back on her

[Purpleismycolour]

Cut a long story short, my my 28 dd's drug addiction is well out of control, she has got into debt with her dealers, stole off me, sold herself, stole off her family, she has assaulted me where i had to call the police, i cant have her in the house as she constantly steals,do users ever realise what they put others through when they are putting that rubbish through there bodies, she is now in supported living as i couldnt cope with the domestic abuse any longer, i got punched innthe face because she couldnt get any money, she also assaulted her other sister because she couldnt get money out of her, dh and I dont live in that world , she is so selfish i am actually begginning to hate her, not sure if anyone can help but just needed to vent.. thx for reading x

Yes, they can do, eventually... but its a long long shitty road.

Depending on the drug, people usually hit their rock bottom in their early thirties and then work their way out of it, and you already know this but no one can help your daughter except herself.

Its good shes got housing, if she keeps it that will be a solid step forward.

Have you got any family support groups near you?

I haven't much to add in the way of advice but it must be a terrible experience for all the family.

I don't think there is much you can do at this stage. Does she have a key worker helping her to get into rehab ?

Addiction is awful , I've seen how it can destroy families.

I could have written your post. My dd had a drug addiction.

Somedays I wanted to run away and never come back.

Don't ever give up on your child

Can you make it clear to her that she is welcome back in your life when she has stopped using? It sounds like you have gone through absolute fucking hell with her, and I can see how you would begin to hate her for her terrible, toxic behaviour.
My 9 year old daughter has just climbed sleepily into bed with me, thrown an arm over me and started snoring slightly. I would find it unbearably painful to have to turn my back on her. I wonder if, somewhere in the drug-addled mess your daughter has become, there is a nice person hating it, hating herself. I fully, fully understand why you may ( and possibly should?) go NC with her for now. She needs to stop abusing you and other family, and come out the other side. It may be an incentive ( in the future)to know that if she does, you would be open to reestablishing contact. I hope you get all the love and support possible to help you get through this.

I have watched my parents year themselves apart over my drug addict DB on and off for over 15 years. It colours my view ... but I feel it is the path to madness. We have had support through online communities and I strongly advocate the 3 Cs way of thinking. I didnt cause it, I cant control it, I cant cure it. I also 'released my DB with love ' I said I could see his addiction ruled his life and that must be devastatatingly hard for him. I explained that I loved him bit his life choices made itbifficult to love. He was always promising to change and believing it himself but until I STEPPED away he always thought we'd be there.
I encouraged my parents yo stop enabling him, paying his rent/debts/dealers buying him clothes. But they won't.

I understand it must be so so hard bit try and release her a little whilst showing her love. Addicts are the most self absorbed, self pitying people.

Thank you for your replies, i have tried so hard to get her the help but I cant help her, she has to do that for herself, i feel awful but I am actually emotionally numb towards her, she emotionally blackmails me, her involvement with drugs has gone as far as putting my home and safety of my other children at risk, her addiction is weed, coke , ketamin, pills you name it, if it does the job it has to snorted or pumped into her system, so so selfish

All addicts are selfish.

Has she been to rehab?

No , the support team has offered the rehab but she doesnt take up the offers, i know And I dont want to turn my back but my life has been so controlled by her behaviour and the drugs, geez now I feel selfish thinking of myself x

Sometimes you have to think of you. And your other children.
You can't make her take the help. I am so sorry. Of course you don't want to turn your back on her. If you have to it is because she has chosen drugs over you.

She's got to want to stop otherwise rehab is pointless.

I spent years living that nightmare. I couldn't turn my back on her because I believed MY dd was still there somewhere inside her.

There's a difference between turning your back and thinking of yourself
Set limits, give no more than you can give without losing all of yourself, recharge yourself through things and people that make you happy, help her in ways you can, and give her a path out. Keep pushing her to take that path as best you can. you can do this.

She's not choosing drugs over you contrary to what a pp has said - she's unable to chose you - she's not in a position to make a choice

It is such a vicious circle, I am so sorry that some of you have lived this nightmare, it has been making me ill, dh is stepdad and he treats her as his own but he is getting to the end of his tether, we are going through hell, my other dd has washed her hands of her mainly to do with the prostitution, she is beyond embarrassed and disgusted x

How can't she make a choice? She's been offered help and refused it?
The OP can't make that choice for her.

The drugs are clouding her choice - you can only make a choice when you have free will. An addict doesn't have free will they are a slave to their addiction.

If that was the case no addict would ever stop. The drugs mess with your mind. Unless she's off her face 24/7 she has periods of lucidity.

My dd used to tell me she could stop taking drugs. Sadly I think she actually believed this.

she is a daily weed smoker so there is always something in her system, she surrounds herself with people that are drug users, that is her circle, her hair is so thin and she is starting to lose her teeth, she was beautiful looking but now the drugs have taken there toll on her appearance

Parkhead, is your dd clean now? X

Oh you have all my sympathy. Al Anon might be a help to you. The son of one of my best friends is like that. He started when he was fourteen and my friend has done absolutely everything she could for him, but today he is going to prison on remand, charged with theft from a shop. I don't know the details but my heart breaks for my friend and the beautiful little boy that she had before all this started.

I remember going to al anon after I divorced my husband( secret drinking) the big elephant in the room as they used to call it

Is she not interested in helping herself at all? Have you/has she looked into getting onto a subutex/methadone programme?

there has been times where i thought we may be getting through to her but then its down that shitty road again,so no to your question she has refused rehab, i need time away from her, she has emotionally drained me tbh