So my son is now 10.5 months and his dad has had over a year to stop taking drugs and sort his life out. I smoke weed he smokes weed and in my honest opinion I don't feel it's an issue if my son is in bed and he's not around it. We never smoke it when he visits. He lives with his mum and she tries to drug test him each week but some weeks hes been refusing. On the odd occasion she has said shes found crack in his room. He's tested positive for cocaine which I know he takes and disagree with. On so many occasions I've told him if he's taking drugs I will stop him seeing our son. His mum has told me alot of things about his mood swings and different drugs found in the house but I've always taken it with a pinch of salt because she's abit odd and also I've never been able to prove with physical evidence. Yesterday he was supposed to go to a course then come and see us. He text me around midday to tell me he would be here around 4.50 after the course but never showed. When I spoke to him last night he said he didn't go because he slept all day which meant he had also lied to me. I asked what he was doing the night before that made him unable to do anything he needed to do. He said he smoked a joint before bed and took a co codamol because he had a headache. I asked if he had been prescribed it and he said no. I told him he should take paracetamol for that and to take co codamol for a headache is ridiculous, especially when he knows he needs to get up. I have banned him from seeing our son until he can prove he's been clean for a month. He thinks I'm being unreasonable. I would like to add that when we met we were raving and doing a lot of drugs and also throughout our relationship but I had stopped when we broke up in September. I got pregnant in november but didn't know until I was the end of April which is when we got in contact again. He's had over a year to sort out his life and isn't allowed to take him son for even 10 minutes without me. I've tried to help him so many times and he's convinced he hasn't done anything wrong which has actually made me realise for the first time that he is an addict. I'd just like to hear some opinions on whether you think I'm doing the right thing and some advice on maybe how to handle the situation. I didn't want to post on AIBU as I find it pretty unhelpful with people just critisising and not being constructive. Please bare in mind that I have given him so many chances to do the right thing and not just in relation to drugs. Any help and advice will be really appreciated.