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Alcoholic father

3 replies

alicetopp · 07/02/2017 21:03

Hi

I'm posting on here for some support please. My father is an alcoholic and has been for many years. He is dependent on alcohol too I believe as if he goes a day without it he shakes terribly and sometimes blacks out. Both myself and my mum have had enough. We live in fear every day as to weather or not he will be drunk when we go home. My heart sinks when I walk in to see cans of lager or a bottle of vodka on the kitchen side as I know he will be drunk. Very rarely he will act silly when he's drunk but mostly he will be bitter and argumentative. My poor mum has put up with this for 40 years and god knows why she has! We have tried so many times to help him but it never works. I'm so sad for my mum as one day I will move out and hopefully have a better life but for her this has been her life. She is such a lovely woman and my heart breaks to know she doesn't have the strength to walk away. We have both spent many night crying as I can hear her in her room as my dad slams things around downstairs. I know she must feel terrible for putting me through this but I don't blame her one bit and never will. All we ever want is for him to stop drinking but I fear now the only way we will get out this horror is if he or we were to die. Life is so cruel sometimes.
Please if anyone has any kind words or advice I would love to hear
Thank you

OP posts:
Smellyoulateralligater · 08/02/2017 00:16

Alice this must be terrible and very painful for you and your mother. Al-anon provide support to the families of alcoholics and would be a start. Sorry I can't be of more use.
Flowers to you and hope you get some more useful replies soon.

AuntyElle · 09/05/2017 21:27

Flowers for you and your mum, Alice.
I'd also encourage you and your mum to try Al-Anon meetings. Depending on where you live there may be a few to chose from, and you can talk to someone first, they'll even meet you outside if you are nervous going in. You can also read about their approach on their website.
Another option for you is Adult Children of Alcoholics groups.
There was also a very helpful program on the radio today: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08p5l46
You are not alone. This is very close to home for me too. DM if you'd like.

AuntyElle · 09/05/2017 21:32

Another source of support for you: www.nacoa.org.uk/young-people.html

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