My friend is an alcoholic. She accepts she "drinks too much" but would never categorise herself as an addict.
Last night, she telephoned me and was in such an emotional state that I was terrified for her. She was threatening suicide, screaming at me, showing signs of paranoia, suffering memory loss, sobbing her heart out - completely the opposite to the person I know.
She eventually calmed down enough to tell me she had been arrested, locked up and charged with drink driving but she had done nothing wrong. She said the police just turned up at her door and in a threatening way, said they would "get her" and smash her door in to get to her.
I tried to talk her through it until she became calmer then asked her permission to try and get someone to help her. I called the A&E unit to ask where I could go for help. They referred me to the critical Illness psychiatric unit who said if she was suicidal, the safest way for her was to call the police. As it seemed that the police issue was the one frightening her the most, I asked her for her husbands number so I could speak to him. He works at the other end of the country and was away.
When I spoke to him, it turns out she is banned from all the pubs in the area, she is prohibited from leaving the house between certain hours, she can't wander the streets unaccompanied. She already has a criminal record for slapping a police officer when drunk. She is banned from calling the emergency services. I'm her friend and didn't know any of this. Her son doesn't even know.
Her husband has paid for private clinics, alcoholic counselling, psychiatric care etc. but she just walks away and says they don't help her.
She has threatened suicide before and he's driven the 5 hours it takes him to get from his job to find her dramatising a suicide situation only for the ambulance services to say she hasn't actually taken anything but is just making a cry for help.
She is grieving for her father who sadly passed away a year ago. She is also grieving the death of her beloved dog. Her husband works away and all her friends have deserted her. Her son really doesn't want to know because he is ashamed of how she acts in drink. She lost her job 7 years ago again through drink and has basically lost all her self-esteem.
This is a normal, homely, comfortable woman who on the surface shouldn't have a care in the world and should be able to grieve privately for her losses. Instead, she's throwing away all help and throwing away her life in the process.
All she is worried about is the effect it will have on her if (when) she loses her licence, what her son will think of her. She is going to try and keep it away from him but I don't know how long it will take him to work out the fact she isn't driving.
I'm really worried. My daughter says all I can do is be there for her to talk to and help her reflect on all the good times and memories we had growing up but talk of suicide makes me really frightened for her.
I am sure her husband has looked at all the options for her but I really want to do something that will make a difference. I would welcome some direction from anyone familiar with this type of situation. Thank you.