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Original poster

Step mother of the bride

12 replies

thebluehen · 10/09/2023 15:38

My step daughter of 15 years is getting married on New Year's Eve. The men of the wedding party are wearing light grey suits including her Dad. They have decided that because it's New Year's Eve that they have worded the invites as "black tie optional".

So this means that some people may be looking very formal, more formal than the wedding party and I am completely at a loss on what sort of dress to wear.

I have asked my step daughter what she thinks and she has said to wear whatever I like and feel comfortable in.

Any thoughts?

I have yet to speak to the Mother of the groom to see what she will wear.

OP posts:
carparkcow · 10/09/2023 16:03

I don't have any ideas but if mother of the bride is attending then I would suggest checking with her as well as mother of the groom - my mum and step mum (who despised each other) turned up to my wedding in practically the same outfit and were both horrified!

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 10/09/2023 16:07

I wore a jumpsuit to my step sons wedding with the aim of being smart and dressed up enough to have made an effort but not to be doing so at the same level as the mother of the groom.

I did also check with Mum and Mother of the other groom too.

AnaNimmity · 10/09/2023 18:32

’Black tie optional’ is (imo) the worst of all dress codes - if you’re going to have a dress code at all, be clear with people.

NatashaDancing · 10/09/2023 18:46

Size? Budget? Preferences?

Original poster
thebluehen · 10/09/2023 21:58

Size 8-10.

The Mum isn't attending the wedding.

OP posts:
Original poster
thebluehen · 10/09/2023 22:11

Budget probably around £200

OP posts:
NatashaDancing · 10/09/2023 22:59

Without knowing your preferences that's not much to go on. Here's the Outnet filtered to dresses , size 8 and 10 up to £300. That's over your budget but there's a 15% discount for first purchase.

You could try running a filtered search on Matches, Net a Porter, Coggles and MyTheresa.

The Outnet

Maddy70 · 10/09/2023 23:16

I would go with a jewel colour jumpsuit or dress. It's a nye colour and will go from day to night

Maddy70 · 10/09/2023 23:17

I also think it should just have been 'black tie" it's easier to plan for

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 10/09/2023 23:20

I'd wear a long dress

NatashaDancing · 10/09/2023 23:35

For dresses under £200 I really like Sister Jane and not just because their dresses will never appear on a "mother of the bride/groom" search (although that's a big plus)

They're well within budget.

Sister Jane

Dresses

Explore our women’s dresses for all occasions, from everyday wear to party—whimsical eccentricity with a distinctive signature style.

https://sisterjane.com/collections/dresses

Original poster
thebluehen · 11/09/2023 07:01

Ok, a bit more detail. I'm 5ft2, small boobs, so can't wear anything low cut as it gapes and ideally it needs to be "petite". I don't mind a little bit traditional but not something aimed at 70 year olds (I'm late 40's), which is what a lot of traditional "mother of the bride" dresses seem to be aimed at.

So much of what I look at is for summer weddings - floral with big hats but that's not appropriate for this is it?

The "black tie optional" is unhelpful as nobody is clear on what to wear and I'm part of the actual wedding party where the guys are in ordinary suits, so potentially the guests will be "smarter" than the wedding party!

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