What should I wear to stop myself looking so plump and Mumsy?

[BicycleBelle]

I've no idea how to dress, and recently sitings of myself in lift mirrors and shop windows have horrified me.

Any suggestions for what a 45 yr old, mother of three, short, stone over weight (generous size 14)should be wearing? My particularly problem is my belly, which still looks 5 months pregnant 9 years on.

Can anyone Gok-me? What on earth can you wear if you are short and fat?

how short?
body shape please
bits you like?

a stone overweight doesn't sound too drastic..perhaps you've just lost your fashion mojo

That's a stone over healthy weight limit, not a stone over looking good limit - at least 2 stone for that! And I don't think I ever had any fashion mojo!

Body shape, well, umm, 5ft 2, 10 stone, and mumsy curves. Big belly biggest problem, boobs Ok,38C, bum and thighs a reasonable size and firm due to cycling, horrible legs with nobbly knees and frequent bruises. So generally in proportion, more hour glass than pear shaped, but over-fleshed and far too big and flabby a stomach.

you are just into the overweight bmi category

perhaps a rut.. easier to focus on the negatives?

Where do you normally buy your clothes from and what sort of budget do you have?
any fave items?
when did you last look/feel great

good news is that the sales are on...

Normally buy clothes from the charity shop! . I've just noticed that you can tell, and so want to improve. I honestly can't remember when I last bought clothes from a proper shop, usually because I try things on I think I look awful. Clothes from petite ranges are better for me, because even though I learnt how to take up skirts and trousers from a young age, the shape is often all wrong when you do. Sleeves are tricky to take up also, and low necklines are obscene on me because they are very low on me.

I like colourful and feminine things, mixed with classic and simple things. I don't know where to start looking. Apart from charity shops I'm just dragged into teenage shops by DD1 where I cringe in the corner feeling fat and old.

I would like to buy a Gok-style capsule wardrobe and be prepared to spend around £300. Where should I look?

teenage shops...tsk clue is in the description
they will never make you feel good about yourself over the age of 20

i agree that you need to wear things with the right proportions and that make and mend can often not work out if it's a big job

have you had a look here?
good place to start for a browse

like trinny and tranny for stuff about body shapes here but google away
also here for colours but there are loads of other colour ideas when googled

i do think a decent bra and knickers make a world of difference
ditto decent hairstyle
makeup

hope this helps

Well I'd look in White Stuff for bright and pretty tops that show your boobs and waist but hide your belly. They're famous for shaving half a stone off your figure. (The website isn't great, so not added a link. Go into the shop and try stuff on - there's loads more in store than on the net.)

Maybe try Next petite range or Wallis petite for some classic basics like good linen trousers, cropped leg trousers or dark jeans. Then maybe get yourself some gorgeous sandals and paint your toes, get a funky haircut and some fun chunky jewellery. You can easily do all that for £300.

You can get a personal shopping appointment (its free and you don't have to buy anything) at debehams, house of fraser etc - y ou get a big changing room all to yourself and someone to run round and bring you everything, give you an honest opinion and help you update your wardrobe. I have done it several times - it is great.

Lands End have loads of petite stuff, and they have some surprisingly nice pieces. Good wide-legged linen trousers, with free hemming to your own length.

When did you last get properly fitted for a bra? Nothing makes someone look plump and mumsy faster than a shite, ill-fitted, bra, IMO.

I had a nice experience at Gap recently - really helpful staff, got loads of things for me to try on, suggested some new things to try. I came away with some trousers, a great long jumper that is hugely flattering and a sweet little cardigan. Having some help was useful.
V good tip about the bra too - it really does help.

Thanks all. Think I'll brave the shops this w/e (hopefully alone, without skinny disparanging teenager!) and start with the underwear and the shoes, and see how it goes from there. Any recommendations about where to go for a bra fitting? I have a Debenhams near me, but can't think of any other likely place.

With big boobs go for v neck tops which are fitted at waist, fitted jackets which nip in at the waist, not too long though. Go for jeans which are bootcut and fitted, nothing too baggy like carpenter jeans or not too skinny - only if you are tucking into boots - then they are excellent.

Crop trousers are good, but ensure they stop at your calf not at your ankle.

Another final trick for waistline is a wide belt, worn low on the hips. This cuts your belly in half, halving the area you hate most and elongates your body which will make you look taller - worn with jeans it can also halve your bum. Try it and see if it works for you.

Heels also elongates your legs.

Trick is to eccentuate the bits you like and subtly draw the eye from problem areas.

Wallis great for crops, Oasis Scarlet jeans fab as they have stretch, Great Plains good for basics...

Good Luck.

If you don´t want to spend too much, how about trying stuff on for fit/size & then seeing if you can get from Ebay?

get a proper bra fitting (bravissimo/rigby & peller). My mum is 5ft and was wearing a 38c for years at around that weight. She's actually a 32 F - does wonders for her body, really elongates the frame as the boobs are up where they should be giving the illusion of less of a belly (sorry mum )

and even if turns out you're a 38c the quality of bras in that size various enormously - get as good a one as you can

I am overweight and 8 months preg.

I just bought a maxi dress and wear it with a smallish denim jacket for evenings. The jacket covers up the mumsie bits like bingo wings, but also looks cool.

I feel fuckin fantastic in it, I`m 39.

There`s hope yet.

Get one of these waistshaper and wear high heels at all times.

Have taken the first step and bought a couple of new bras. Although I knew that I was a 38 C because my only comfy bra was 38c, most of the bras in my drawer were 36 B (pre-kids and weight gain!) and that was what I was wearing to my fitting. Went in with 36B, came out with 38D!!! Even with no new clothes I felt brilliant today, not only more comfortable but a completely different shape, I actually felt half a stone lighter.

Thanks for all the suggestions of places to look for clothes everyone - I feel ready for the next step next weekend!

brilliant news! enjoy your shopping trip with your new pert boobs!

best tip...try stuff on....if you like the style, try it. you may be pleasantly surprised! and if it looks shit, then you'll know that that style is not for you!

can you take a good friend? always handy for running out of the changing room to find a bigger size!!!