Um, if you were going to look round a school and meet the head as a prospective parent...

[blitheringditherer]

...and you normally blobbed around in Converse, jeans and a T shirt, you never wore a skirt/dress and you didn't do "smart" except for weddings and funerals...

...what would you wear?

state or private??

state - whatever, but clean would be good

private - bring on the pearls dahling

Maybe black jeans and a crisp white t shirt; all very ironed looking so I'd look smart but still be me!

I would wear my normal clothes

acceptance into a school is not based on parents style accumen

Altho if it were OXBRIDGE HERE I COME

Agree with Cyb

Do you have a slightly tidier top than a t-shirt ? Then that, jeans and converse would be fine for anywhere

That's it exactly you see...it's private

I feel like a fraud for somehow feeling that what I wore this morning to the lovely new (state) nursery is somehow not acceptable for looking around the prep.

My daughter's at a fee paying school and DH wore Converse and jeans for her interview. She got in and they weren't faintly interested in what we wore.

I seem to recall wearing jeans and a pretty blouse and heels but I always wear heels.

No dress or anything though.

I see parents doing the tour all the time and its just smartish casual really.

I was worried about what to wear - but honestly, unless it is black studded leather, or shows your fanjo/norks, no one really cares.

I went to the new parents evening at the prep school that DS will start in September last week, and lots of mums were wearing jeans - although there was a whole lot of Joules/Boden going on too

Right. That's confirmed what I was thinking really - I think I'll just wear jeans but with a shirt and wedge sandals.

When my sons were at prep school there were 2 quite famous rock star parents, they were always the ones in ripped jeans, tatty old converses who looked as if they had not run a comb through their hair for a week ( one male, one female) The seriously loaded leisure mums always wore sports kit or riding clothes and the mere mortals were the pearls and twinset brigade - go as you are!!

I felt I should make a real effort as it is an institution, I expected that teachers would be dressed smartly, and I think dressing smartly shows that you take whatever you are doing seriously... I wore a skirt suit and heels.

all the other parents went scruffy, and I felt like a twat.

Why would you want to look any different than you do normally? You are PAYING the fees, it is a service you are getting from them.

Would you dress up to take your children to swimming lessons or music club? Same scenario...you're paying for a service. Now if you want to look nice, just because you can and its a great opportunity to get a pair of lovely wedges on, then do it, but for the right reasons.

I hate the fact some mums feel this need to 'out dress' each other on the school run. Bores me silly tbh.

Be yourself, and remember to quizz the head like you would an interviewee, he has to sell the school to you!

As long as you can pay the fees they don't care. Just wear what you feel comfortable in.

I guess it depends how you are in general. I do 'dress' for school, dance class, swim class, school meetings. I feel like if I dont it makes me look like im not being respectful... I dont judge others for not doing so by the way, I set myself stoooopidly high standards.

If its private go for smart trousers, smart top and heels - depends on the school but from my friends' experience of attending interviews/open days at private schools, often they're assessing the parents as much as the kids...

I wouldn't try to look all pearly. Clean and smart of course, but that's a given right

If you have the kind of accent that is the right accent, then you don't need to do anything imo.

I agree with sue52. I went to a private school and there were Nigerian princes there who never payed the fees. Paying the fees trumps being a prince. Luckily my parents paid the fees so I never felt the shame of 'the whisper'.

Absolutely MaryQueen of Chocs, I'd want to know if they still divided students into streamed forms, or whether streaming is just done by individual subject. Also, do they give the better teachers to the children in the top streams and the shit teachers to the children in the lower streams?!!?!?!? because that is certainly what they did in my school.

I'd also want to know what special education resources they have. What systems they have in place to help children who might struggle to keep up? What's their bullying policy?

Interview the fuck out of them. wear jeans. And make it quite clear that if your child is placed in the bottom stream you're off.

That's what I'd do.

Very politely. of course!

Ds turned up at his assessment day covered in stale beer as he'd kicked a can on the way, he was also late. On his induction day on Tuesday we were late (again) and he had juice spilt down his t-shirt.

But what if your child should be in the bottom stream?

Just because you are paying does not mean your child has a fast track to the top.

(I wore cropped trousers a cardigan and vest top with birkies btw but this is Dubai and 40 degrees)

IME fee paying schools don't really have bottom streams or children who particularly struggle since their entrance tests are geared towards finding children who'll do well.

Not all fee paying schools have entrance exams Maisie

No, but I think private schools have an ingrained acceptance of an elite structure - where the cream get the best teachers. They just do. NO matter WHAT the school says. So I guess it's pointless asking! I know a lot of people who went to private schools and it was the same for all of us. The top streams got the best teachers and the pupils who would really have benefited from good teachers got the bad ones.

Shocking and inexcusable, but true. In that situation I honestly believe your child would be better off at a state school. Don't pay for your child to be placed in the bottom stream and made to feel like a dunce.