Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Image Crisis!

15 replies

Supergluemum · 03/06/2010 22:06

I am new to mumsnet and am looking for advice and honest talk without all the problems that go with talking to those close to you- ie worrying (them), being embarrassed (me)etc. I have 2 children age 4 and 2 and very shallow (but important to me) I don't know what to wear/how to look anymore. I have had a tough few years adjusting to motherhood, changing jobs and have had some low times. I don't want to know what to wear but how to go about finding out what I like and who I am now. When I read this back it sounds pathetic but I am a bit lost. Anyone?

OP posts:
cyb · 03/06/2010 22:13

yes

what shops do you like/ whose style would you like to resemble

what shape/size/height/colouring

Supergluemum · 03/06/2010 22:20

I like/used to like things a bit quirky but worry about looking like ridiculous mum now. I am size 12ish, bit straight up and down (skinny when I eat more healthily), 5ft 7 and pale with grey/blue eyes and mid brown hair.

Also not really looking after me very well so need to feel a bit more motivated.

Thanks cyb- it's a start.

OP posts:
cyb · 03/06/2010 22:26

I woudl start offf with some decent basics..good jeans for starters. New Look are really good for different styles, I've always found Dororthy Perkins jeans good too.

Go for a darker colour, more slimming and can be smart or casual. Are you working? or is is everyday home stuff you are after?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 03/06/2010 22:29

I don't think you need a huge change of style: you'd wear new style for a bit but if it's not "you" then you'll slip back into your old clothes again. I think I'd go for the usual clothes, just fewer and smarter and maybe add a more unusual (for your style) item every now and again.

Supergluemum · 03/06/2010 22:35

thanks both of you. It's just everyday stuff but how do I get over whether I look mumsy or trying too hard? (I'm thinking too much about this)

OP posts:
CristinaTheAstonishing · 03/06/2010 22:40

Try a few things, see how at ease you feel in them. You can't try too hard, I think, unless it's perfect shoe-handbag matching. But even then, someone's idea of "trying too hard" may be something totally different. Be quite ruthless with your clothes, if you don't feel good in them, bag them away. Don't even have them under your eyes every day.

cyb · 04/06/2010 07:52

superglue, try not to think too hard...tricky I know. As I said get your basics right and you can go from there. I think its quite hard to look mumsy these days unless you are in full elasticated jeans and trainers combo. there are just tooo many different clothes around.

Perhaps have a look online as Asos, or Kew or Great Plains to see what shapes of things are around, its the cut of stuff now that will elevate clothes from mumsy to modern

And dont overthink it! Buy what you like and be brave

cocolepew · 04/06/2010 08:04

I lost my way when Ihad the Dds and thought I looked frumpy, I loved a bit of quirk myself . Don't feel embareassed and wear what you like. have some good key basics and start from there

Whelk · 04/06/2010 08:15

I think it happens to a lot of us after you have dcs. I can't really put my finger on why; maybe a combination of maternity clothese, followed by being a different shape due to baby weight, different lifestyle etc.

Anyway, I think you need to be realistic and properly set aside a budget that you can afford. I would start by investing in some good basics such as skinny, or straight leg (skinny shape but without the tightness!) jeans. Gap have a good range (or they did have) and some good shoes, e.g for summer some ballet flats/ good sandals and a good bag and maybe a jacket (although you won't need this until Autumn time)

You can get various tops which are quirky or your style quite cheaply so maybe be a bit more experimental. H and M is good for cheap and quirky, as is Top Shop or even Peacocks or Primark.

It makes you feel a lot better I think when you have made a bit of an effort. Don't try to be anything you are not and if you wear what feels like you then I don't think you will be too mumsy.

notyummy · 04/06/2010 08:28

Some good advice here. Perhaps you could also try lurking on a few of the Style and Beauty threads to see some of the clothes that others like or are wearing. I don't mean that you have to copy other people, but it can be inspirational to realise that other busy mothers like you still get great pleasure in choosing clothes and creating a look. There are some great tea dresses and maxis around this summer that can make you feel really feminine without breaking the bank.

MayorNaze · 04/06/2010 08:32

wear what you like. seriously. and it gets much better with practice. agree having a think which of your friends/celebs you would like to dress like, flick through some mags and take it from there.

don't be afraid to mix and match. i larfed my arse off the other day when someone in here likened me to Mr Ben as i was describing many different "looks" i do... rock chick one day, boden yummy the next, armpit hair weaver another and today, for example, scuzzy grubby gardener

Biscuitbreaker · 04/06/2010 10:50

What celebrity's style so you admire? That might give us a starting point to suggest a couple of new bits that you could incorporate into your existing stuff?

Supergluemum · 07/06/2010 22:43

I like SJP, Alexa Chung, Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz- a bit unrealistic but you asked!
Thanks all anyway. This is so great- and nobody has to know who you are do they?!
Wish I'd discovered sooner x

OP posts:
beanlet · 08/06/2010 09:38

Good jeans are a must -- but (with apologies to Whelk) unless you've got great legs skinnies make them look like misshapen sausages, and if the newspaper style sections are anything to go by they're about to go out of fashion again anyway. And pretty, slightly quirky shirts and blouses. I also like knee-length skirts if I can find them.

I really love Scandinavian fashion; if you like quirky and feminine, but stuff that works for grown-ups and not just on girls, you can't go wrong with Noa Noa. If your budget doesn't stretch to their prices, they do truly amazing discounts in the sales, usually 70%.

I'm really looking forward to giving birth so I can shop there again!

FairyLightsForever · 08/06/2010 13:13

I'm straight up and down too, I wear a lot of skinny jeans and jumper dresses for cold days and leggings and just below the bottom dresses on warmer days. I try to wear things with cowl necks and detail around the bust (a bit of a frill or something), as this detracts attention away from my flat chest. I think it's all about playing to your best features (in my case, my legs and bum).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page